Tuesday, September 3, 2013

Syria Offers Cooperation in “Symbolic Air Strike”

Assad Says Fire One
MFNS by Barb Weir
After being given plenty of time to move around and hide their weapon stockpiles and prepare, the Assad regime in Syria today offered to cooperate in a “symbolic strike” against itself. 

“We understand the need for the U.S. to maintain its prestige and Barack Obama's credibility,” said a Syrian government official, on condition of anonymity, “and if bombing some unused military installation in the middle of nowhere will help save face, we’re willing to help.  

The Syrian offer came after the British parliament voted down a Syria strike and U.S. House Majority Leader John Boehner asked President Obama for justification for the military action – an exceedingly rare request. The President responded with an even rarer request for Congressional authorization.  

“If the administration is going to wimp out on this,” said an anonymous White House  Spokesman, “it wants to appear to be taking direction from Congress or possibly even the American people, without necessarily making it a habit.” Polls of public opinion and Congress show clear and consistent opposition to a military strike. When asked about the offer, Secretary of State John F. Kerry, on holiday windsurfing, refused comment. Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel,  on a golf outing with Vice President Joe Biden at a Washington area miniature golf park was totally unaware of the offer. 

The Syrian offer therefore puts the Obama administration in an awkward position. “We appreciate the good intentions of the Syrians,” but we're committed to Congressional approval. Besides, Tomahawk missiles are not cheap. We might want them for something more useful in the future", the W.H. spokesman said.

Google Earth satellite photos today show Syrian Military units painting bulls-eyes on abandon buildings to help in targeting.

The French government, Obama's only allies in this crisis, upon hearing the news of the impending strike, immediately surrendered to the Syrians as not to interfere with any up coming French holiday plans.  

(Thank You Larwyn@Doug Ross Journal for the linkage)