Monday, January 4, 2016

The DMF Asshat of the Year 'Lifetime Achivement Award'

It's been awhile since we have awarded the honor of 'Ass Hat of the Year' at DMF. The main reason being that in the later years of the Obama administration there has been so many qualified candidates in politics and the media falling out of the trees we simply could not narrow it down to one.  But with the sunset soon to descend on the career of one special Ass Hat of note, we must take this opportunity to recognize his stupendous Ass Hattery as we prepare to say goodbye good riddance

Our award winner came to national prominence in 2004 after the citizens of the great state of South Dakota came to their senses and booted off the public payroll (because they had grown increasingly frustrated by his aggressive opposition to most of George W's legislative initiatives and judicial nominations) the former King of the Senate Democrats, that vile and corrupt little man Tom Daschle. The dem's then chose as there Grand Poobah  the socially conservative, pro-life pro-gun Senator from Nevada.

The Stormin' Mormon, Dingy Harry Reid.

Harry was an odd choice for an odd time. It was the dark days of the Bush years: tax cuts for everyone and burning Dixie Chicks CDs and bombing the shit out of the crazy Muslim's sandbox.   

In 2006, Harry became the true exalted  King of the Senate Democrats, The Majority Leader. He quickly shed his cloak of moderation and became the consummate obstructionist of all and everything Republican. 

In 2008 Harry was a major force in backing as a candidate for President the black guy of which he described as: "light-skinned" appearance and speaking patterns "with no Negro dialect, unless he wanted to have one." Harry soon began, with the help of his House pal Nancy Pelosi, ramming the Negro with no Negro dialect agenda down the throats of America.

At some point, age began to catch up with Harry. He began to say stupid things, even for a King of the Senate Democrats.  Who can forget that strange and bizarre press conference during the 2012 election of which out of the blue Harry said this about Mitt Romney:  
“He didn’t pay taxes for 10 years! Now, do I know that that’s true? Well, I’m not certain,”
After Republicans seized control of the Senate in the devastating midterm election of 2014, Senate Majority Leader Harry was demoted once again to the lowly Senate Minority Leader position from which he came. The demotion was devastating and the slide into crazy became fast and steep. 

Harry began ranting and raving daily, in almost all his time at the Senate podium obsessing about the Koch Brothers. Day after day, speech after speech the ugly face of Koch addiction reared it's head until even some in the media started to question Harry's condition.

Then last year, tragedy stuck. While in his bathroom the little boxer got roughed up by getting on the bad side of his exercise resistance band named Vinnie. It beat him up pretty good, breaking a number of ribs and bones in his face, but seems to have cured his Koch addiction in the process. He should stop working out with big Italian guys.

Then last March, Dingy Harry announced he was retiring from the Senate. It must be a bitch for a power hungry politician to be regulated to second string.  But his constituents are grateful. A brothel in Nevada with an extinctive sex menu has offered to host Harry's retirement party to thank him for efforts that have “positively affected” the hookers of Nevada and health care for their tools of the trade.

The way we look at it, if Ted Kennedy was the "Lion of the Senate" Dingy Harry was the "Turd in the Punch bowl". And if you're driving through Nevada and see some guy in sunglasses mumbling and wander around aimlessly in the desert, just keep driving.......

*Thank You MJA for the Linkage*