Tuscaloosa, AL - President Obama's use of his phone and pen to sign an order that the University of Alabama replace its racist elephant with a donkey caused a predictable outcry from some extremist obstructionist Republicans, including partisan and ungrounded accusations of abuses of power by the executive branch.
According to President Obama:
"University of Alabama lost their privilege when they did not share their football trophies with the less fortunate colleges and universities. Besides, some folks at the university thought they could get away with putting a Republican elephant next to a word that has 'bama' in it. That is a distasteful and disrespectful attack against me. And I want Americans to realize that personal attacks against me will not be tolerated. It's not who we are."
University of Alabama students became divided on the issue, with the best and the most progressive part of the student body organizing spontaneous marches in support of President Obama and his ruling.
"Elephants are a symbol of oppression and Alabama has won too many trophies for their own good. The mascot change is progressive, and I hope Alabama will learn to share a bit more," said Melissa Click, former communications professor at the University of Missouri, who joined the march as a volunteer legal observer...."