Tuesday, November 21, 2017
Nations Atheist Prepare To Offer Heartfelt Thanks To Random, Uncaring Universe On Thanksgiving
Again this year the nation's atheist are preparing to humbly show gratitude to the cold, mechanical processes that randomly led to mankind’s existence and their own fleeting lives this Thanksgiving. They will bow their head silently before partaking in their family’s extravagant Thanksgiving feast Thursday evening to give thanks to the meaningless, cold, inconsequential universe; that vast and ancient universe that doesn’t care at all whether they live or die, for the blind, heartless processes that inevitably led them to eat this great feast, and thank those who died instead of their ancestors, so that they would be selected to survive in an endless, cruel cycle of natural selection that allows once again to enjoy bounty of celebration.
They will be truly humbled to be able to partake in this futile tradition at least one more year before their inevitable demise and descent into the great black Lovecraftian void beyond.