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Undecided Lars Abdul Mendoza III |
Some thought Obama the Jesus we never asked for, even if he was a Kenyan, socialist, abortion loving Baptist Muslim communist. Hell, Jesus was a liberal anyway. And Romney strapped a horse to the roof of his dog’s tax returns. Who does that?
At face value, I simply can’t distinguish between the two. With this in mind, I have instead come up with a formula to help aid in my decision, and hopefully yours. Using complex mathematic algorithms and advanced scientific theories, it is possible for a voter to make an informed, confident choice when deciding who to support for president by simply applying a point system to each candidate. Following are an example of my system:
Has experience running various businesses: +1 Romney
Liquidated many of those businesses: -1 Romney
Looks athletic enough to run a marathon +1 Obama
…but smokes: -1 Obama
Mormons believe some weird-ass stuff: – 1 Romney
The Broadway show “Book of Mormon” won nine Tony awards: +1 Romney
Is a big fan of Chicago sports: +1 Obama
…but his favorite team is the White Sox: -1 Obama
Appreciates a good beer: +1 Obama
Doesn’t drink…ever: -2 Romney
The last four years: -1 Obama
The eight years before that: -1 Romney
His presidency broke through long-standing racial barriers: +1 Obama
Has endorsements of Hugo Chavez, Vladimir Putin, Cher
and most of the mainstream media: -3 Obama
Endorsed by Donald Trump: -2 Romney
Joe Biden: -3 Obama
So, tallying up the up the points leaves us at:
-5 Romney, -5 Obama…a tie. DAMN!
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Yeah, just have him go read this "Book Review: The Destructive President Details Obama’s Psychological Problems and Dangers"
ReplyDeleteHe may re evaluate the tie, lol.
http://www.allvoices.com/contributed-news/13189948-book-review-the-destructive-president-details-obamas-psychological-problems-and-dangers