Sunday, February 3, 2013

Obama to Hold Shooting Exhibition

Plans To Shoot Apple Off Debbie Wasserman-Schultz’s Head

Amid all the fervor over a staged photo of the President firing a shotgun at Camp David, and all the photoshop fun that followed despite the warn to the contrary, the White House has arranged for a publicized skeet shoot where the President will attempt to shoot an apple off the head of DNC Chairwomen,  Debbie Wasserman-Schultz,  using his own personal Benelli 12 gauge shotgun and number 6 shot. According to press secretary Jay Carney, “This will prove once and for all that the President loves guns and hates Jews!"  

Displaying confidence in her President's ability to knock an apple off her head with just one shotgun blast,  Mrs. Wasserman-Schultz has been combing supermarkets in Ft. Lauderdale Florida to find the largest apple she can buy. “I want a big one so the photo-op will be more dramatic.” According to various rumors, Wasserman-Schultz has told one of her aides to paint a rather large watermelon and disguise it as an apple! 

“I know. Using a watermelon is sorta racist, but I really want my President to look good when the cameras roll,” said Wasserman-Schultz when confronted about the apple substitution.

Sources say the President will attempt to knock the apple off at about 35 yards using his own 12 gauge shotgun equipped with a modified choke and number six turkey shot. Part of the viewing public that will witness the first ever shooting exhibition by a sitting US President are the ambassadors from Egypt, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, and Lebanon who openly are rooting for a missed shot.

A non-deterred Wasserman-Schultz proudly beamed about being the center of attention once more since the elections in November and shared with those around her how it reminded her of college days at NYU…”Gosh! I can fondly recall being the center for Delta Ki frat boys for their skeet shoot. Now, those boys could really shoot!”

 Obama mused that using turkey shot would be appropriate.