MFNS - The
Pew Research Center published poll results showing a
surprising number of Americans take a anti-First Amendment stance
regarding the recent Charlie Hebdo massacre in France. Although a
majority say it was acceptable for the French cartoonists to publish
images of the Islamic prophet, nearly a third or all Americans, and 50%
of all women, said it was “not okay.”
In
the aftermath of these events, which show a shocking willingness among
Americans to be buffaloed into limits on their own everyday behavior
based on the demands of a pseudo-religious, mostly outlaw political
system, a number of groups have come forward to demand that their own
icons be treated with similar respect by all people, or possibly suffer consequences. The following graphic illustrates six of the most prominent.
1. Ernesto “Che” Guevara:
This petition was presented to President Obama by Raul Castro, who was a
close friend of Che and a fellow revolutionary. He points out, quite
correctly, that Che is worshiped as a demigod in Cuba, and demands that
“capitalist U.S. tee-shirt hawkers cease using Che’s sacred image on all
products and send the profits to Cuba.” He also asked that all images
of Che be destroyed, reverently by burning, while sprinkling the flames
with coca powder. Obama has offered to help with this process,
personally, if requested by anyone.
2. Neil deGrasse Tyson:
Ann Druyan, Carl Sagan’s final wife and the force behind the
resurrected Cosmos TV series, has insisted that all images of Dr. Tyson
be destroyed out of respect and recognition of the unique pinnacle of
genius and heightened awareness achieved by NDT, even though he still
occasionally works part-time in the Cal Tech Observatory Gift Shop to
make ends meet. Ms. Druyan is strangely okay with displays of the pagan
images on Dr. Tyson’s vest, so feel free to continue using those
images.
3. Cows:
That’s right; all cows. Hindus the world over have declared that all
cattle, being sacred to their religion, shall henceforth be protected
from all disrespect. That means that all cattle ranching must cease,
milk ads must not use images of the sacred beasts, and leather goods
will be banned. They also point out, correctly, that theirs is an
actual ancient religion, not something dreamed up by a
mentally-disturbed, cradle-robbing caravan raider from the 7th-century.
4. Napoleon Bonaparte:
French Nationalists have been waiting for this moment for a long time.
They insist that the Emperor be recognized for the divine deliverer
that he is, and that his images not be used to make him appear short or
to confuse him with any of the other Napoleons of popular culture.
5. Michelle Obama’s Ass:
Fans of the Fabulous First Lady request that she continue to be given
shameless over-exposure, all except for her large posterior. They
request that it be deleted from all photographs using Photo-Shop or
Pixelmator or equivalent.
6. Denise Milani: If you have to ask why this Sun-kissed, Aphrodite of Czech models
shouldn't be given goddess status, then you must be a liberal. Just ask
Janicki.