Wednesday, July 24, 2019
Matt Gaetz Puts Mueller's Nads In a Vise
Much like Hollywood’s sad attempts to monetize on our fond memories from the past, and since liberalism is created in a Hollywood basement, the Russiagate revival tour happening with Mueller’s testimony before Congress today has the trappings to the sequel nobody wanted to a movie we all regret, like the Deuce Bigelow: European gigolo of politics.
Democrats hope to revive the dead conspiracy of Russian collusion and a stolen election that brought us moments like the women’s march or Rashida Tlaib’s profanity laden calls for impeachment. With the struggling Democrat party failing to grab headlines for their 2020 candidates that don’t involve Beto O’Rourke doing push-ups in an airport or Cory Booker trying to convince a late night audience that he totally has testosterone coupled with offers of free everything, the Democrat party needs a revival tour. Robert Mueller is their Shia LeBouf and they’re hoping to get the #resistance back together for another tour hoping ' The Trump Derangement and Media Propaganda Revival Tour ' will fill the void of actual coherent policy.
Brace yourselves ladies and gentlemen, if you thought the cognitive dissonance was bad before, it’s going into overdrive for the 2020 election.