Just like an announcer informing the crowd the left-handed reliever is coming to the mound, Deval Patrick announced he's running for president as a mid-season replacement candidate to save the game for the Dem's. You, I and most everyone else have no idea who he is, but that's not stopping him. He has no compelling or distinguishable platform, but hey, no campaign is perfect. Patrick sees an opening and he's going for it.
Our extensive research has revealed Patrick was once governor of Massachusetts. He's the only black person to serve in that role, until squad member Ayanna Pressley wins someday. He's affirmative action Harvard Law and was assistant attorney general for the Civil Rights Division of the Department of Justice under Willie Clinton. He's no small-town mayor, but he's got chops.
A close friend of Barky Obama, he has told advisers that he envisions a campaign similar to Obama's. Barky's "inner circle" had urged Patrick to run as far back as 2017, but he declined because of what he called the "cruelty of our elections process." The current primary is apparently all hugs and puppies, so Patrick figures he'll show up late to the party after a few other candidates have already passed out in the bathtub.
Patrick is currently a managing director at the investment firm Bain Capital. Yeah, that Bain Capital. Oh that should start class-warfare-waging Sen. Lizzy to shakin'. Patrick has missed the filing deadlines for the Alabama and Arkansas primaries where he would have probable gotten......oh maybe 6-7 votes tops, but he plans to focus on New Hampshire, South Carolina, and some other early states where he can embarrass himself.
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