Christmas is a day for family (well at least the ones you like), friends, food, giving and receiving. But, there are some things we hope we don't have to see.
Hearing a noise and thinking it's Santa,
but finding the local S.W.A.T. Team swarming your house, locked and loaded!
Rising early to find standing between you and your bathroom door,
the next door neighbor's slightly insane son and he's transistor fetish.
Richard Simmons standing in your living room!
Your eldest daughter, recently scorned by her lover,
offering for the first time to cook Christmas dinner.
Your college age daughter, for your Christmas present,
gives you a complete autographed copy of her upcoming
"Busty Babes" magazine layout.
Finding out Santa had brought a very special gift to your youngest child
when you continually find her hovering near the ceiling.
Realizing someone had invited crazy uncle Melvin for dinner!
Finally understanding what your wife meant when she said
she's having your present "delivered by professionals".
Seeing a doctors face as you regain consciousness in the emergency room and being reminded that you had said after dinner that, with enough shots of Jagermeister, you could indeed chew completely through a broomstick!
Y'all Have a Wonderful Christmas!