In what you would expect to read from a little bitch like Brian Stelter, Flanagan devoted no fewer than 1,500 words to deconstructing that bane on the nation’s conscience: the 1964 Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer holiday TV special.
In her piece "Don’t Subject Your Kids to Rudolph" Flanagan calls it “55 minutes of Christmas-crushing despair,” and if you’d rather not read past that, dear reader, we do not blame you one bit. In fact, that’s as much of Flanagan’s piece as we’ll bother quoting at you.
Apparently, the problem with Rudolph is that he encounters all kinds of obstacles, up to and including almost getting murdered by the Abominable Snow Monster with a giant stalactite, but Rudolph perseveres and in the end, saves Christmas by using his one special talent that everyone else had thought was a deformity.
We can’t believe we have to remind a highly-trained staff killjoy at a major publication that the entire point of drama is to create a lovable character and then put him through sheer Hell. That way, his victory in the end actually means something, something meaningful enough to draw out a deep emotional response from the audience. Yes, even if that gives you a few negative feelz along the way. Especially if that gives you a few negative feelz along the way.
We are forced to presume that a better Christmastime message would be to tell kids who are different not to try so hard because their struggles bother poor Caitlin. Since it’s Christmas time, nobody tell Flanagan what happened to Jesus on the cross. Talk about some serious liberal Christmas-crushing despair, amirite?
Forgive me Lord, for I do so hate these people.......