Monday, December 5, 2022

Shannon Epstein vs. The Jefferson Parish Sheriffs Deputies 不不不


It was 6 a.m. on Thanksgiving Day, and 25-year-old Shannon Epstein had boarded a Spirit Airlines flight from New Orleans to New Jersey.  She assumed the family seated near her were Latino, so she asked them if they were “smuggling cocaine,” which as icebreakers go was incredibly strange to say the least.  Also, discretion is probably a key part of the drug mule game, so you wouldn't blab your business to some random asshole on your flight if you were. 

As it turned out, this family wasn’t in fact “smuggling cocaine” on Thanksgiving, and our Jersey Nancy Drew just grew angrier and more disruptive. According to Jefferson Parish Sheriff’s Office spokesperson Jason Rivarde, airline workers decided to remove Epstein from the plane, which had already started to taxi to the runway.

You can imagine how pissed the passengers were when Epstein’s tantrum caused the plane to U-turn to the gate. Back at the gate Epstein refused to leave the plane, and when sheriff deputies approached her, she became what was described as “extremely combative.”

As the Times-Picayune report described it:
In the scuffle, she injured six deputies, biting one on the arm and breaking the skin, and kicking another in the groin, Rivarde said. They were treated there by paramedics.
Wow, what a beatdown! And no one even asked her to wear a mask. 

Here’s the big twist in the story: While Epstein was whooping the cops’ asses, she insisted they were the ones in for a world of pain. They would lose their jobs or even wind up in jail, perhaps for bruising her kicking foot with their groin. She boasted that she knew powerful people: She’s Chris Christie’s niece, damnit! And he’s friends with former president and coup plotter Donald Trump. Oh, heads are gonna roll. 

It took seven deputies to handcuff Epstein to a wheelchair and forcibly transport her to the airport security office. During her ride to airport security, Epstein continued to shout obscenities and spit on the deputies. She also tried to bite them. She was booked with six counts of battery on a police officer, three of disturbing the peace, one of resisting arrest by force and one of remaining (on the airplane) after forbidden. That last charge is brutal: "You wouldn’t leave after we told you to get the fuck out.”

Epstein posted $10,750 bail and was released from the Jefferson Parish Correctional Center. None of the reporting on this incident suggests that Epstein was intoxicated or otherwise impaired. She may just be a real asshole. That’s not much of a defense, no matter who your uncle is.



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