Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Cliff Notes To SOTU. I Watched So You Didn't Have To.

7:55 PM: Eerily strange looking people wondering around aimlessly are talking to themselves and each other. Fetterman's pointed head visible above the crowd. Kyrsten Sinema enters chamber looking like she's is wearing the kitchen curtains from Pee Wee's Playhouse. Speaker Kevin is looking up & down at Kamala like she smells of a reanimated corpse. That means we're starting soon kids!

There's a guy in a white lab coat just to the left of the dais -- I imagine that's a doctor in case Greazy Joe's mouth outruns it's supply line and he goes into vapor lock, or the Turd Fairy shows up unexpectedly. 

And look there 'it's the Supreme Court guys. Love them a lot. Apparently Alito, Gorsuch, and Thomas have chosen to make themselves scarce. Probably out guarding the big fence around the capital in case the Vikings show up. And there's Dr. Jill, lookin' like she raided Princes' closet, wearing a Hot Fluorescent Purple dress and 1970s' flowing locks. 

Greasy Joe finally makes it to dais looking wide eyed like he's charged up with a full load of adderall and ready to kick it!

Starts with kind words to Speaker Kevin and the 'ol gasbag Pelosi. Oh Shit. Joe just called Chuck Schumer Minority Leader. What a kick in the nads for Chucks ego!

Joe is now doing his patented "we're all America, look how we work together" bullshit. 

Kamala looks like she's holding in a massive fart.

Oh Joe starts lyn' -  12 billion new manufacturing jobs and "lowest unemployment since 1969" - FACT CHECK PLEASE!

Joe is explaining cars needs chips and salsa.

Ooooh Joes MAD, Joe's SHAKING a FINGER. HOW VERY DARE YOU for being 13th in infrastructure. LOOK AT THIS FUCKIN IRONWORKER. We need more Ironworkers (to extort money from to give to Democrats.) Joe's just listing shit now, but EXCITED. IRON! LUMBER! FIBER OPTIC CABLE! CHAMOMILE TEA!

Joe promises we don't have to worry about Big Pharma, he promises they will be fine, even though he murdered them with cheap insulin. - FACT CHECK PLEASE!

Kamala really needs to do something about that turkey neck she's growing. Damn Girl!!

Joe mentions that the winger extremouses wanna repeal the Inflation Reduction Act, and they all applaud, and he just laughs in their faces. Then drools' a little.

Got back from getting a small sip of Four Roses Small Batch and Joe's shouting! Repub are shouting! Joe's shouting. Like Prime Minister's Fisticuffs And Gentlemen's Crumpets and Swaggerbobbing! I don't know what's going on! It's so much fun! 

Joe says we'll need oil for at least another decade and there's a hearty roar of laughter in his face, and now he is being roundly booed for noting that Trump can suck a big old deficit. Another big round of boos for Joe when notes tha Repubs want deep six Social Security. - FACT CHECK PLEASE.

Joe says some cool shit he did, like not letting Jimmy John's kidnap Subway employees or something and some other cool shit too, I forget. I went to get another small sip of Four Roses Small Batch.

So now Joe's got a bit of a laundry list going here of shit Biden wants done: ABORTION FOR EVERYONE! Tiny American flags for others! Ukraine, Putin, queer folks, a path to citizenship.

Joe slimed right over his offenses, rampant crime, invasion of our borders and poison drugs that kill everyday. 

Joe spending little time on the China balloon, which Old Joe murdered with his bare space lasers. People are shouting USA,USA which is visabley annoying the dems. Suspect AOC started crying, can't say for sure. 

Joe is against cancer. Joe is against hitting Paul Pelosi in the head with a hammer. DON'T BE ANTI-DEMOCRATIC SHITHEADS! says Joe. NO HITTING DEMOCRATS IN THE HEAD WITH A HAMMER.

Lots more blah blah blah......

9:20 PM: And Joe is DONE HERE.

He loves you baby. He wants you to be happy, and good, and not a dick like Speaker Kevin who was nice enough to invite him over to our house.


I know you've probably already seen it, but Governor Sarah's rebuttal was a two to the chest and one to the head of Biden and his far left toads. And she left no doubt we'd better stand up for what we believe and give a big 'ol middle finger to the woketards. 

Thanks To Gator Doug @ The Daily Gator for the Linkage!

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