* If someone comes to me asking for advice I usually assume they're out of all other rational options. 🤣
* It seems to me very irresponsible to start new year the day after a year as bad as 2023 was ends. Borderline recklessness.
* I'm considering being fully delusional this year to see where it takes me because being sensible hasn't glean the results I was looking for.
* Am I the only one who noticed not once in the Fast and Furious movies did they stop for any gas?
* Gentlemen, "fuck me up" is never the appropriate response to the waiter at The Olive Garden when they ask you how much cheese you want.
* Do Not mess with Librarians....the inner strength required to meticulously care for history's greatest works of literature and then just let total strangers borrow them willy nilly is Jedi level stuff.
* One disorienting thing about getting older that no one tells you about is how weird it feels to get a passionate, extremely wrong lecture from a much younger person about verifiable historical events you can personally remember very well.
* Any dog can be a guide dog if you don't care where you're going.
* I wonder if the Virgin Mary was like, you can just call me Mary, there is no need.
* Ever take you glasses off at night and think damn, natural selection would have taken my ass a long time ago if it weren't for the development of optometry!
* My dentist gave me Amoxicillin my last visit and said you can't drink while taking it, so I'm doing the mature thing and heeding his warning and not taking the medicine.
* The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing!
* I've been told before I'm kinda like the total package that got fucked up in shipping and handling. 🤣🤣
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