Showing posts with label Madam Cankles. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Madam Cankles. Show all posts

Thursday, December 6, 2018

What's a Seven Letter Word for 'Fat and Bitter Old Lady'

And speaking of bitter, shambling, drunken, low-class, delusional embarrassments, Hillary Clinton displayed the world famous grace and charm that she is known for by making a puerile, childish scene at the funeral of President George H.W. Bush by a half-hearted greeting to the current First Lady, and refusal to even acknowledge the presence of the President of the United States. The contrast between Melania and that barely bipedal turd-in-a-girdle by every metric of character, charm and of course beauty could not be more stark. Melania dodged a bullet; I wouldn't shake hands with Hillary. Not where that hand has been.

It's also easy to see from this image who has the balls in the Obama Family by the way they both sit.....but she can at least fake grace and respect when need be. 

(Washington Post)

Tuesday, February 21, 2017

Snowflakes Now Have Safe Space and Alternative Universe To Turn To

Liberals Can Now Live In Alternate Reality
Where Hillary Clinton Is President

Liberals seeking refuge from reality now have a fake news website where they can pretend to live in a world where Hillary Clinton is president., a satirical news site devoted to covering stories from an alternate universe where Hillary won last November's election. 

The site’s description reads:  “In the midst of a Constitutional crisis, this is our response,  Long live the true president, Hillary Rodham Clinton.No one is sure who the website is run by, but they are obvious liberals. The writing is a bit amateurish and and not very funny, with the post titles being the best thing on the site.  We all know lefties aren't really know for their sense of humor anyway.  But snowflakes can take solace in the fact when they can no longer fight back the rage and the tears, they have a place to run to now .

There is no comment section on the site, (damn!) and that should tell you a lot right there. They probably know what would happen if they did!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Memo to Time Magazine:

Make Hillary Time's Person of the Year
For the sake of your corporation, and its reputation, 
Time should name Hillary its Person of the Year.

Don Surber
Memo to Time:
Do it.
Get it all out in the open.  Let the staff praise her like "Saturday Night Live" did in that "Hallelujah" opening. The cast had not been as somber since its first post 9/11 show.
Publish those paeans to her that your staff giddily wrote in anticipation of her coronation. It's OK.
This award will be therapeutic and profitable. While a plurality of American citizens elected Trump, a plurality of American residents voted for her. They'll buy copies, sure.
This award will cement Hillary's place as a stepping stone for that future First Woman President -- likely a Republican -- who will break that mythical glass ceiling.
This award will finally show the world once and for all the anti-conservative bias of Time-Warner and all its properties, including CNN. Embrace it. In fact, use it as a marketing tool.
No one will be surprised.
You see the big problem with the media is that it lies to the public about its bias. In so doing, the staff of Time and the rest show a contempt for the people they lie to. Americans are insulted. Media credibility is so low it no longer exists except in the heads of a smaller number of people than believe the moon landing was fake.
Come out of the closet. Show some Caitlyn Jenner courage.
Be who you are. Liberal. 
Trump won't mind. Oh he will Tweet of course. But look what happened to Merkel. After you bypassed The Donald for her a year ago, Germany went to pot. I do not want that for my country.
Hillary is a good choice all the way around. Her life cannot get worse, and America will be spared the Curse of Time's Person of the Year.

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Clinton Comes Out of Hiding To Make First Appearance Since Concession Speech

Hillary Clinton will make her first public appearance Wednesday night since conceding to Donald Trump last week.

Clinton is expected to give a speech at the Children’s Defense Fund Beat the Odds Celebration in Washington, D.C. An unnamed aide told CNN that the speech will be part reflection, part pledge to remain strong and continue to support the crybabies in the streets in the face of four years of a Trump presidency.  
The speech is an opportunity to underscore Hillary's continuing commitment to the causes and values that have always motivated her work as a criminal advocate and self aggrandizer public servant .

Wednesday, November 2, 2016

And the Witch Screeches: Trump supporters are 'dark, divisive, dangerous' people in need of 'interventions'

"I suspect that, somewhere in the cancerous bowels of Clinton campaign HQ, there are some ugly internal polling numbers. The candidate, and her surrogates, are starting to sound scared - the kind of "scared" you hear from people who thought something was in the bag, only to have the rug pulled out from under them at the last minute." - Robert Laurie

Sunday, October 9, 2016

Hillary Rodham: Violent Avenger of Bunnies

Even before the silly news broke of an 11 year old video of Donald Trump's egregious Pussygate,  locker room language not usually used in polite company, or before talk of who does or doesn't possess the temperament to be President, we were treated to an even more true shocker of a story (conveniently ignored by the media) by author Edward Klein in his new book 'Guilty as Sin'.

Mr. Klein has previously written in 'The Truth About Hillary', that Hillary was a big old thigh licker with "no wifely instincts."

In his new book he reveals that she cusses and has an explosive temper, (she is said to have blooded-up a sitting president over a stain on a carpet or something) and probably can’t be trusted to be president because she could very well be not only a serial liar, but pathologically violent:
"Hillary’s combative behavior is nothing new; she’s been that way all her life. For my 2005 book The Truth About Hillary, I interviewed Hillary’s grammar school classmate, Jim Yrigoyen, who told me the story of being ordered by Hillary to guard a warren of baby rabbits, and not give any of them away to neighborhood boys. When he did, recalled Yrigoyen, “Hillary hauled off and punched me in the nose."
"She’s been using people as punching bags ever since...."
Well, the little jerk did give away the baby bunnies after being told not to now didn’t he?  A baby bunny belongs in the nest with the mama, not in the incompetent hands of some little snot-nosed creep who’s likely to let it die. 

But this story goes a long way in explain Hillary's reported legendary violence while reigning as the nation's First Lady.  And I might remind you of that time back in 2012 when stories emerged of Young Mitt Romney having bullied a kid at prep school by knocking him down and chopping his hair off with scissors, so he’d stop being a long-haired hippie type. We didn't elect him either, now did we?

But will all this matter to Democrats? Barack Obama once admitted to playground violence by pushing a girl on the playground! And even worse, there was monstrous child Joe Biden, who threatened to punch bullies in the nose for messing with his friend!  And just look what these people have done to our country!

The question is America: do we disqualify ourselves from voting for a candidate who has on occasion used a colorful word for a female body part, as boys sometime do?  Or do we take a chance and elect another Democrat with a blatant history of violence against their fellow man?  I Think Not!

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Thursday, September 29, 2016

Are You Better Off Today Than You Were 8 Years Ago?

I think it’s worth remembering something Ronald Reagan said at the last debate against the incumbent Jimmy Carter a week before the 1980 election:
"Next Tuesday is Election Day. Next Tuesday all of you will go to the polls, will stand there in the polling place and make a decision. I think when you make that decision, it might be well if you would ask yourself, are you better off than you were four years ago? Is it easier for you to go and buy things in the stores than it was four years ago? Is there more or less unemployment in the country than there was four years ago? Is America as respected throughout the world as it was? Do you feel that our security is as safe, that we’re as strong as we were four years ago? And if you answer all of those questions yes, why then, I think your choice is very obvious as to whom you will vote for. If you don’t agree, if you don’t think that this course that we’ve been on for the last four years is what you would like to see us follow for the next four, then I could suggest another choice that you have."
We’ve lived under 8 years of Obama and are considering his acolyte to add at least 4 more.

Friday, September 23, 2016

The Future Queen of America and Bubba Expand Their Royal Residence

Madam Hillary and her puppy Bill just bought some new digs in Chappaqua, New York, right next door to their primary residence. No ones sure if it's for hiding emails or maybe just for after hours muff diving strategy meetings with Princess Huma......
"The Clintons are building a compound in Chappaqua, New York. Hillary and Bill Clinton have bought the house next door to their current home in Chappaqua for $1.16 million, according to deed information on the 33 Old House Lane home. 
The 3,631-square-foot home, which was previously owned by architect Charles Chepigin, was sold to the Clintons on August 11, according to the documents. 
The Clintons currently own the the 5,300-square-foot home at 15 Old House Lane, a property they bought in 1999 as Bill Clinton was leaving the White House and Hillary Clinton was running for Senate in New York. That home was purchased for $1.7 million. 
By purchasing the new home, the Clinton’s now own the entire cul-de-sac at the end of the road in the leafy New York suburb...." 
Presidential candidates and ex-presidents are just like us! They own entire cul-de-sacs! But the property is  really not insane by the standards of insanely rich people like the Clintons.

But What Beautiful Grounds! You can bury a LOT bodies in a yard like that!

The Clinton's new house also features a 212-square-foot basement  which would be a really good place for that secret email server or for occasionally torturing a political opponents. At least they have way better taste than Sarah Palin. This is a very nice place, handy and away from the main house for that planning of international intrigue, goin’ skinny dippin' with Bill's girls, or giving their Secret Service protection a nice place to do their sex scandals, play canasta or bunco or just keepin' an eye on how much criming the Clintons doing at any given hour of the day. 


Thank You Larwyn for the Linkage!

Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Sunday, September 18, 2016

Hillary Goes After the Disaffected Millenial Vote

MFNS - After having to fend off rumors of a health collapse, sinking poll numbers, losing support in swing states, ever increasing unpopularity in her home state, and fearing that her popularity among young voters has fallen to a critically low, Hillary Clinton this weekend adopted a "new look" to appeal to millennials in New York City who are describe as suffering from angst and alienation.

Speaking before the 24th Annual Goth Fest & Marilyn Manson Makeup Convention,  Clinton showcased her new look at the event on Saturday  dressed in an Edwardian corset, a lacy black dress, knee-high studded boots and a variety of occult jewelry.  A spokesperson for the Clinton 2016 campaign insists that while the transformation may appear to be a cheap political stunt, it actually reflects the candidate's deepest and until recently, most secret beliefs.

"We are hemorrhaging support to that [expletive] Trump so we put drab ol’ Hillary in front of a mirror and asked ourselves some really tough questions, like if her style really speaks to today’s disaffected youth," said A. Hola, a longtime Clinton strategist who, as a high school student in the early 1990s, wore only black and went by the name Raven. 

Clinton told her audience: 
"Look around, my fellow Americans, and you’ll see that everything is in a state of decay The only certainty in life is death, and it is death we must espouse if we are to live fully. I say it’s time for a new political aesthetic, that we find beauty in the macabre. If you elect me as president, I’ll paint the White House black.  Visiting heads of state will be forced to confront their own mortality. Instead of backing down from Russian president Vladimir Putin at a UN summit, I’ll present him with the skull of a beloved Victorian poet.”
Donald Trump, he's dead, but he doesn't even know it yet. Even worse, he is mundane. He bores me.
And long before I was a grandmother in a lime-green pantsuit building up my foreign policy credentials, I was an angry young outsider who despised the conformity of my peers. Few know this, but while living in the Arkansas Governor’s Mansion in the 1980s, I was a prolific writer of Anne Rice fan fiction, and I used to dye my hair black until Bill told me it was unbecoming." 
When asked what advantage she has over her Republican rival, Clinton pointed to the two terms she served in the Senate, experience she gained while heading the State Department, and her mint-condition collection of all 13 albums released by The Cure. 

Thursday, September 15, 2016

Hillary Puts to Rest The Health Rumors

Hillary Returns to the Campaign Trail

Middle Finger News Wire - Hillary Clinton has staved off countless rumors about her health in the past month, and the bout of pneumonia that forced her to leave a 9/11 memorial event this weekend only compounded people’s concerns. The Democratic candidate had no choice but to address the matter, and she just did it in a big way: 

At a campaign event this morning,  speaking in front of thousands tens of assembled members of the press and supporters, Clinton unquestionably debunked comments about the fragility of her health by assuring her audience she was on strong prescribed medications for her temporary condition, and then proceeded to tear open her thigh and wrench out her femur. Immediately after freeing it from her leg, Clinton began to aggressively smash the femur against the speaker’s podium to demonstrate its vitality.  

Okay, so this is pretty much a masters course on how to take control of a story!  Clinton went on to say as she proudly held her leg bone high above her head:
"I welcome any man or woman who believes they possess the strength to shatter this femur to join me here on stage and try, though they will most certainly fail. 
Let it be known that my femur is more robust than a thousand oxen and as unbreakable as my determination to lead this nation as its first female president." 
Only a politician like her could take a potentially detrimental controversy and turn it into an opportunity to show exactly how ready she is for the Oval Office.

And here is our friend Springer's take on Hillary's return to the Campaign Trail...

Tuesday, September 13, 2016

Thursday, September 8, 2016

Hillary Clinton Confirms Health Rumors

Given her history of rampant, craven, deep, broad, sustained, overarching, continuous, relentless dishonesty about practically every aspect of her personal and public lives, is it really so implausible that she'd lie about her health? No. She'd lie about her health even if there were nothing to lie about, just to keep in practice.....

Jimmy Kimmel Children's Book for Hillary Clinton

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Monday, August 29, 2016

Playing the 'Race' Card Early

It was well beyond question Hillary Clinton would play the race card. The only issue was when. Modern Progtards are born without forearms, which affords them the ability to have so many such cards up their sleeves. Playing their ace card this early and this forcefully does not demonstrate strength on Hillary's part. It's clearly a flashing neon testament to her insecurity and weakness. Other than a lack of a pair of 'nads', she has nothing else to run on.

The racist cries are usually saved for closer to the election, when polls tighten and Democrats worry about turnout. A little fear mongering goes a long way to motivate the otherwise uninterested and Low-Fo voters. That it comes in August reeks of desperation, an aroma permeating the Clinton campaign in recent weeks.

This election is months ahead of schedule when it comes to progressives' panic level. The next 2 1/2 months either will be something to behold or the ugliest invective-filled nightmare this country has ever seen.