Saturday, February 14, 2015
Friday, February 13, 2015
The Husband Store
A store that sells new husbands has opened in Manchester, just off Deansgate where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’
So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework…
'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.
PLEASE NOTE:
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
To avoid gender bias charges, the store’s owner opened a New Wives store just across the street with the same rules.
The first floor has wives that love sex.
The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer.
The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited.
Thursday, February 12, 2015
"Giving this guy his own selfie stick is like giving Charlie Sheen his own meth lab."
Headline via Hot Air
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| This Has To Be The Gayest Thing I've Seen in a Long Time |
Congress To Finally Investigate Eric Holder’s Bank Shakedown Settlements
Well, it’s about time. Truly this administration has charted a bizarre path with regard to the big banks. One day Wall Street and the White House are buddies. The next day the banks are portrayed as villains. It’s been an odd tango of money, power, and domestic realpolitik.
Very Chicago.
From IBD
In an Aug. 27 editorial, “Holder Cut Left-Wing Groups In On $17 Bil BofA Deal,” we revealed that Holder’s record $17 billion deal to settle alleged mortgage abuse charges against Bank of America included potentially hundreds of millions of dollars in set-asides for “a national network of left-wing community organizers.”
Instead of going to so-called victims of the so-called fraud, Holder steered huge sums to affordable-housing activist groups approved by HUD, which is mired in a separate lobbying corruption scandal, including:
• La Raza, which pressures banks to qualify more low-income Latino immigrants for home loans.
• National Community Reinvestment Coalition, Washington’s most aggressive lobbyist for the disastrous Community Reinvestment Act (CRA).
• Neighborhood Assistance Corp. of America, whose director calls himself a “bank terrorist.”
• Operation Hope, a South Central Los Angeles group pressuring banks to make “dignity mortgages” for deadbeats.
• Mutual Housing Association of New York, or MHANY, a spinoff of an Acorn housing unit.READ MORE
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