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Saturday, January 7, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Barack Obama's Historic Firsts [Updated]
His complete list of Obama's stellar accomplishments can be seen here: President Barack Obama's Complete List of Historic Firsts [Updated] ,with comments and the usual humorous reactions of a few trolling lefties to boot.
"First President to Golf 90 or More Times in His First Three Years in Office......."
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Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Obama Puts Away Golf Clubs: Teleprompter Put on Full Alert
Air Force One landed just before daybreak in Washington on Tuesday morning after an overnight flight from the island of Oahu. The president is returning from vacation the same day Republican presidential candidates square off in the Iowa caucuses, the first nominating contest of the 2012 campaign.
Obama plans to make his presence in the campaign known quickly.
Read more...
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The Audience Has Spoken: The Best of Diogenes 2011
Our Favorite Post of 2011
Submitted by Broadside Betty, Toots de la Foots and Tiger Rag
* Happy Presidents Day, Mr. President
* Obama Rejected by Dancing with the Stars
* Linden Borden for President
* Bumbling Barry's Bodaciously Bad Week
* An American Bowel Movement: The OWS Protest
* Republican Triumphs and Democrat Lies
Submitted by Broadside Betty, Toots de la Foots and Tiger Rag
* Happy Presidents Day, Mr. President
* Obama Rejected by Dancing with the Stars
* Linden Borden for President
* Bumbling Barry's Bodaciously Bad Week
* An American Bowel Movement: The OWS Protest
* Republican Triumphs and Democrat Lies
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Sunday, January 1, 2012
The 2nd Annual G.T. Awards
It's indeed been an interesting year, and since it's time
for year-end honors, we're proud to present:
Diogenes' 2nd Annual Golden Turd Awards.
 |
| The soon to be highly coveted G.T. |
So without further ado.....envelopes please.
AttackWatch.
Obama/Biden 2008 had some success with this same concept when it was known as FightTheSmears. The 2011 version, however, has been met with the one thing the Obama campaign hadn't anticipated: mockery. Conservatives and independents have had a field day “reporting” themselves and others on AttackWatch to the point no one but the die-hards take it seriously.
The Amy Winehouse Lifetime Achievement Award:
Arianna Huffington.
Take a struggling joke of an online service, combine it with a rich joke of a website editor, and what do you get? An epic fail. But at least Huffington came away with a ton of money for being ineffective and ham-fisted in her management. Way to be a credit to your gender!
The Dan Rather Award for “Excellence” in Media:
Ladies and Gentlemen, We have a tie!
*Ed Schultz.
Over the past two years, "Special Ed" Schultz has repeatedly put his foot in his mouth, apparently to prevent the truth from getting out. What has gotten out from Schultz is a steady string of ill-advised comments, out and out lies, and insane jealousy against conservatives in the media. Anger management classes would be more helpful to Schultz than giving him a daily and nightly forum from which to preach to an ever-dwindling audience.
And:
*The Right Reverend Al Sharpton
Well, what else can we say. MSNBC's affirmative action commentator's teleprompter skills and semi-lucid thought processes leave most of his audience of the basement rated program going WTF is he doing on TV? Congratulations to MSNBC for sweeping this award category.
Democrats to Watch Award:
Any Democrat up for reelection in 2012.
From Obama/Biden 2012 on down to the city dog catcher, every Democrat is going to be scrutinized by the electorate. Why they're the ones to watch is to see how many are willing to be seen with the President and Vice President on the campaign trail. If they shun Obama and Biden, it doesn't bode well for the reelection chances.
The Joe Biden Public Orator Award:
The Crisco Kid - Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
From vapid Congresswoman who says the most stupid and unbelievable things to garner attention to…vapid DNC Chair who says the most stupid and unbelievable things to garner attention. Wasserman-Schultz makes Howard Dean's leadership look credible.
Republican to Forget Award:
John Boehner.
Over the past year, coal mines have caved in less frequently than the Speaker of the House has. As we move into the next Congressional session, there may be a movement afoot to have Boehner removed as Speaker, and I wouldn't cry any tears if it were successful. Boehner might, but then again he is the weepy type.
The Alec Baldwin Public Relations Award:
Alec Baldwin
It was unanimous!
The Black Hole of Obscurity Award:
Keith Olbermann
After embarrassing their sister network, NBC News, the overstuffed, arrogant and combative Keith (Bathtub Boy) Olbermann got canned by MSNBC. Olbermann's pompous, and sometime unhinged smug world-class a**hole form of presentation were more than NBC and Comcast executives could take. After debuting to promising ratings on Al Gore's Current cable network in late June, Olbermann who is reported to make $10 million a year at Current , has never done better than its debut week on Gore's hard-to-find cable network.
Underreported Story Award:
The Cause Celebre
We honor the numerous Hollywood celebrities and musicians who jumped on the OWS bandwagon supporting the protest against the very banks that hold their millions and finance their boorish projects. My Middle Finger salutes you all. Here is just one example.
The 500 Pound Gorilla in the Room Award:
Scandals within the Obama Administration.
Although President Obama has been touted as one of the smartest Presidents we've ever had *cough*, his Administration has been plagued by scandals, ranging from the relatively minor (Van Jones) to the more serious (Operation Fast and Furious). And let's not forget Solyndra. Far from being a right wing conspiracy, these scandals amount to rank incompetence, serious malfeasance, or both, and they're not going away anytime soon.
Missed Opportunity Award:
Republicans sticking up for black conservatives under fire. This past year, we've seen black Republicans, such as Herman Cain and Allen West, get clobbered in the media and the Democrats for various things. Yet, one group has been conspicuously absent when this has happened: the Republican Party. With Republicans being painted as racist for decades, this past year was a golden opportunity to turn that around and make Democrats and their pals in the media look like hypocrites. Instead, they sat on their hands. Way to bust those stereotypes!
The Whistle Pass the Grave Yard Award:
OWS Oakland.
After one of the largest comings out against big banks, where does OWS Oakland open up an account? Wells Fargo. Way to stick it to The Man, kids!
The Padded Resume Award:
Chelsea Clinton getting a job with NBC News.
Of course, she earned that gig because she did that…wait, it must have been that piece she wrote for…no, wait, it was because she went to college to study...okay, it's because she's a Clinton.
The 14:59 Award:
All things Kardashian.
When Kim Kardashian’s wedding lasted as long as a bad sitcom and had as many laughs, it’s clear the entire Kardashian 15 minutes of fame can't expire soon enough.
The Stuck on Stupid Award:
Eric Holder.
Barney Fife was a better law enforcement officer than Eric Holder is. Holder's record as Attorney General has been rife with inconsistency, incompetence, and illegality. And that's just Operation Fast and Furious!
The With Friends Like These Award:
The Obama Administration's treatment of Israel. Although it’s safe to say President Obama and Israel may not see eye-to-eye on a lot of issues, it's also safe to say the President's not exactly a friend of Israel. Whether its the ill-conceived pre-1967 borders for Israel as a starting point to Middle East peace or the frequent anti-Israel sentiment coming from Administration officials from Obama on down, it’s clear Israel doesn't need any more friends like Obama.
The G.T. Photo Journalism Award of the Year:
Anthony Wiener
Oh how the mighty have fallen. After the verbose asshat New York congressman started sending out lude pictures of his undersized man parts to numerous people, then trying like a Kennedy to weasel out of it, he managed to give conservative bloggers a wealth of comic material unlike anyone this year. Thank You again,Tony!
The Turdapalooza of the Year Award:
The Political Left
The Left wants to expand the number of people who can vote to include the homeless, ex-convicts, and illegal immigrants. A part of this effort includes making it as easy as possible for said potential voters to vote. What’s a major stumbling block to that effort? Requiring those silly little details like proving you’re an actual voter with a real address and that you look like the person you claim to be. So, when states do things to curtail that effort, the Left gets mad and decides to go after those states. And who needs a lot of help to get reelected and has the power to make it tough for states to enact these laws? Why, it's President Obama! Funny how that works out, isn't it?Fuzzy's Best of 2011
Outside some well known conservative blog writers out there these days, there are only a few I really admire. One for sure are the writings of "She of the Fuzzy Slippers", and her blog Fuzzy Logic.
Hers, being one of the first blogs I started reading early on, was a major influence in the start up and original serious content of Diogenes Middle finger (she holds no responsibility for it's insane direction since). A recovering liberal like myself, her patriotic views, staunch support of the Tea Party, her no nonsense politics and well thought out positions on matters make it worth your visits to hear what she has to say. How her words have not caught the eyes of some of the more known bloggers is beyond me, and I hope that changes in the future. Give Fuzzy a visit and see what I believe is one of the more interesting Lady bloggers I've found to date. (and forgive me for not commenting more often, Fuzzy).
Below is a link to her most recent year end best of Fuzzy -
Fuzzy's Fab Five of 2011:
"It's that time again, so without further ado, here are the top Fuzzy Logic posts from 2011.........."
fuzislippers.blogspot.com
Below is a link to her most recent year end best of Fuzzy -
Fuzzy's Fab Five of 2011:
"It's that time again, so without further ado, here are the top Fuzzy Logic posts from 2011.........."
fuzislippers.blogspot.com
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Saturday, December 31, 2011
Happy New Years to all the Readers of Diogenes Middle Finger
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Friday, December 30, 2011
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Faulty Suicide Bomber Belts Recalled
Middle Finger News - With increasing instances of "work place accidents" al Qaeda terrorist leaders have announced the recall of 5,000 suicide bomb belts to correct a problem they say could either cause the bombs to detonate unexpectedly or fail to detonate at the proper time. The recall covers all 120 series and 120b series bombs with a manufacture date between August and December of this year.
"The safety of our suicide bombers are of a very high priority and pivotal to the success of the al Qaeda organization" a spokesman for the terrorist group, Gezzer al-Ybama told Middle Finger News. "We want to be assuring our al Qaeda personnel worldwide that encountering such a problem is of a rare occurrence For those who lost their lives improperly due to the faulty bombs, we offer of our heartfelt apologies to your families who now must live with the shame," said al-Ybama. "As reparations to our fallen comrades, al Qaeda will be offering each terrorist martyr ten extra virgins and a camel upon their arrival in heaven."
It's too early to say whether this will hurt recruitment numbers going forward, even though there was a strong class to come out of al Qaeda summer camp last year, but al Qaeda will have to undertake more community outreach programs if they want to avoid the inevitable public backlash. As it is, The "Big Brothers, Big Martyrs" and "Terrorism is FUNdamental" programs have shared some limited success in recent years, helping at-risk terrorist youths on the path to Jihad.
It's too early to say whether this will hurt recruitment numbers going forward, even though there was a strong class to come out of al Qaeda summer camp last year, but al Qaeda will have to undertake more community outreach programs if they want to avoid the inevitable public backlash. As it is, The "Big Brothers, Big Martyrs" and "Terrorism is FUNdamental" programs have shared some limited success in recent years, helping at-risk terrorist youths on the path to Jihad.
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Wednesday, December 28, 2011
I wouldn't be pissing off Paula Deen - y'all
Perhaps The New York Times should consider
first restoring its own dignity before launching a crusade against shrimp and grits.
NYT: Southern Food is Undignified
Todd Starnes - The New York Times has declared down home Southern cooking undignified in a story that heaped praise on a new generation of Southern chefs while denigrating fried chicken, Cracker Barrel restaurants and the Queen of Southern Food — Paula Deen.first restoring its own dignity before launching a crusade against shrimp and grits.
NYT: Southern Food is Undignified
The Times bemoaned the “hayseed image” of Southern cooking while praising “a new generation of chefs who have pushed Southern cooking into the vanguard of world cuisine.” Their headline proclaimed – “Vanquishing the Colonel – Farmers work with chefs to restore Southern cuisine’s dignity.” “Today, purists believe, Southern cooking is too often represented by its worst elements: feedlot hams, cheap fried chicken and chains like Cracker Barrel,” the Times whined.
It seems to me that the “so-called” queen of Southern cooking should fly up to New York City and take a cast iron skillet to the backside of the “so-called” newspaper that printed such nonsense. But Miss Paula is a genteel Southern lady and would probably just shake her head and say, “Oh Lord, y’all.”
So as a proud son of the South, I believe it is my duty to defend the honor of our skillet friend chicken, our ham hocks and our sweet potato pies. Nobody speaks ill of butter and gets away with it.
For the record, I happen to have a Cracker Barrel rocking chair in my office at the Fox News Corner of the World – along with several copies of Paula Deen’s cookbooks. That being said – I’m really not quite sure why The New York Times felt compelled to launch a broadside against the traditional cuisine of the Southern states. I’ll take a Cracker Barrel Meat Loaf sandwich and a slice of their Double Chocolate Fudge Coca Cola Cake any day of the week — over the slop they serve at those five-star New York City restaurants.
Does The Old Gray Lady really want to pick a food fight with Alabama or Mississippi? There’s a reason why the Magnolia State is the plumpest in the nation — it’s called banana pudding. In New York City, they eat boiled animal tongues. In the South we use our tongues for licking our fingers.
Southerners eat buttermilk biscuits and sip frosty glasses of sweet tea. New Yorkers nosh bagels and drink seltzer water.New Yorkers eat fermented soy and tuna tartar – while folks in Tennessee eat fried catfish – with tarter sauce.
As an expatriated Southerner living in Brooklyn, I’ve come to realize that this quest to redefine Southern cuisine has taken root in the Big Apple. Chefs who couldn't succeed in Dixie have moved north to ply their trade. It’s a movement called, “New Southern Cuisine.” To be fair, I decided to visit one of those so-called “New Southern Cuisine” restaurants the other day. To their credit, they served sweet tea. But that's about the only southern thing in the building. The first item on the menu was “Black-eyed Pea Hummus.”I threw up a little inside my mouth. The waiter brought my iced tea and suggested I try something they called “Arugula Smear.”I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to eat it or wipe it.I paid for my sweet tea, went home and whipped up a batch of Miss Paula’s macaroni and cheese. And as I sat down at my table, I prayed this prayer: “Dear Jesus, thank you for butter. Amen.”
So let this column be a warning to my fellow Southerners. Take up your cast iron skillets and prepare to defend our kitchens from the Yankee invaders. And let our rally cry be heard from the beaches of Biloxi to the mountains of Gatlinburg – the only good chicken is a fried chicken.
So praise the Lord and pass the biscuits.
Todd Starnes FOX News & Commentary
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Monday, December 26, 2011
Best of Uncle Joe Biden 2011
* Biden Leads Vacation Intervention Group
* Meanwhile, back on the Campaign Trail......
* Biden Unleashed on America
* Picture of the Week.
* Anybody Seen Joe Biden?
* On the Road with Joe Biden
* Bo and Joe Set to Hit the Silver Screen
* Joseph R. Biden Railroad Station Christened
* Now Leaving Gate 37.....The Crazy Train.
* Joe Biden Performs at 2011 Grammy Awards
* Joe Biden on the Unrest in the Mideast.
* Obamas have Chinese for Dinner
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Sunday, December 25, 2011
A View of 2011 from the Cheap Seats
*Donald Trump’s deep concern for America’s future is directly correlated to the broadcast schedule of “Celebrity Apprentice.”
*It turns out that Europe’s common currency is a Visa card.
*The Occupy Movement proved that shiftless people intent on living off the taxpayer and blighting American cities have career options beyond serving in Congress.
*We now have definitive proof that President Obama was born in the United States, having entered the world in a Hawaii hospital in 1961. It’s believed to be the last time the president received a warm welcome from the health care industry.
*In further proof that the world has gone upside down, Washington D.C., had an earthquake while California had a politician having a fling with the maid.
*The pundits who backed Barack Obama in 2008 because of his ability to inspire the rest of the world were validated by events in the Arab world. There, just as in the U.S., young people gathered in the streets, swept out the regime in power, and found out that this whole governing thing is a lot harder than it looks.
*The deaths of Osama Bin Laden, Muammar Gaddafi and Kim Jong-Il are going to make this year’s MVP race in hell the closest ever.
*President Obama touted Solyndra as a model of economic growth. While critics have mocked him for touting the virtues of a bankrupt company that laid off over 1,000 employees, you have to give the guy points for honesty – it certainly seems like the model of economic growth that he’s following.
*It’s now even money as to whether the most precarious position in American life is being a Republican presidential frontrunner or being Kim Kardashian’s husband.
*The only time the Obama Administration isn’t in favor of stronger gun control measures is when the firearms in question are being sold to Mexican drug cartels.
*Joe Biden thinks China’s one-child policy is understandable. After hearing Joe Biden speak, China thinks a no-child policy is understandable.
*The existence of the congressional supercommittee proved that the only thing worse than 535 members of Congress is 12 members of Congress.
*It’s more disqualifying to the American electorate for Rick Perry to say “oops” for three seconds than for Barack Obama to live “oops” for three years.
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Friday, December 23, 2011
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