MIDDLE FINGER NEWS EXCLUSIVE
Noted Ass-Kisser of Socialist Dictators Under Consideration
for Cuban Ambassadorship
Penn, better known for being Hugo Chavez's favorite Worm and Madonna's ex-husband than his acting, told MFN he was flattered but not surprised at the news considering all the time he spent sitting at the feet of the late great former leader of the Venezuelan people's paradise.
Second only to former President Jimmy Carter as premier Useful Idiot of socialist dictators, Penn believes the oppression by America of the Cuban people has already caused everyone who knows how to swim leave the island, and has denied Fidel Castro his place in the history of making a better world for all.
"Like myself, Barack Obama knows America has much to learn from the vibrant Cuban people, such as how to provide world class health care, squashing right-wing rebellions, the many uses for bananas and how to play a baseball game that doesn't last six hours."
"And why should the American people be denied the pleasure of a good cigar or unlimited access to the largest supply of 1957 Chevys in the world. Come on!"Fidel Castro recently stepped down and replaced by his younger, sexier brother Raul.
Comrade Fidel is now the most powerful socialist in the west not living in Malibu.