Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Trump Refuses to Take Sides in Big Contest



(Editor's Note: I defy the reader to not hear Trump's voice while reading his remarks below)

MFNS - Des Moines IA. - During a press conference today, our Middle Finger News Service reporter had a chance to ask the Republican front runner a question which he artfully dodged as only a politician can.

MFNS Reporter: Mr. Trump, to step away from the politics of the day for a moment, I'd like to ask about your thoughts on the big Alabama - LSU football game this weekend?

Trump: Now you see Ladies and Gentlemen of the press.......there is more in this world besides politics. You people should take a lesson from this guy...... here is a real Journalist.......Bless you my son........where have you been?  Yes, I'd be glad to talk about other things beside politics. You ask out the Alabama - LSU Game?..... are you kiddin' me? It's gonna be yuge......yuge I Tell ya! You kiddin' me......you seen the size of those guys?........  And those coaches?.......Great Guys. Tremendous guys! That Nick Saban.....cocky little guy.....I like that. He likes to win.....I like that......he yells at his people a lot......I like that......he's tremendous! Just Tremendous!  His team wears red......aaah... I can take it or leave it.....I'm partial to green myself.   And that Les Miles...... what a guy........wears that white hat all the time.....I like that.......I bet he even wears it to bed too.........and he's a sneaky little bastard that never gets rattled......I like that! Tremendous Guy....Just Tremendous! And I'm gonna tell ya......have you seen those LSU cheerleaders? Where do they get those teriffic girls I'm askin' ya? They're amazing!.....I gotta get Les Miles to let me build him a yuge new stadium.....you know his place is almost a 100 years old.....I... 

MFNS: Excuse me Mr Trump, what about the game?

Trump: The Game? It's gonna be friggin' yuge! You kiddin' me....two of the best facin' off face to face.....it gonna be a war.....it's gonna be terrific! And if it was me I'd be runnin' end sweeps.... double reverses......jump passes.....ya know.....give um a real show.....

MFNS: What about the score Mr Trump? Who do you think will win?

Trump: A tremendous game like this?.......ya know I gotta be truthful......I have a lot of amazing supporters in the great states of Louisiana and Alabama....terrific  supporters.......you wouldn't want me to alienate any of my voters.....that's not good politics.  I'll tell ya what ya do.....call my staff after the game and I'll tell ya who I think the winner will be. Look....Ya know this is always a yuge game.....yuge.....a teriffic battle......and I'll tell ya this......I'd probable take either team against anybody in the nation right now .....you kiddin' me......these are two really amazing teams..... tremendous teams! Just Tremendous!......and unlike most of these jerk-offs in the media here, I know I'll be watchin'..... Did I mention those stunning LSU cheerleaders.....I...

MFNS: Uh, Thank You for your answer, Mr. Trump......


Mr. Trump and Tiger Cheerleaders
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