Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Ringling Brothers Circus Sues Obama Administration

Contemplates Suing Democrat Party

Middle Finger News Service - Ringling Brothers Circus is suing the White House for infringements on the copyright claim of  ‘The Biggest Circus In The World ’. The Ringling Brothers, for a century the largest traveling circus on the circuit, is now upset that the White House and Democrat party are now stepping on their trademark and cutting into their business.

Our clowns are at least professional!” stated Ringling Manager Pepe Roni , a midget trapezes artist with the circus.  “When we get laughs it is because we intend to. And we don't wear no three piece suits trying to look normal.  Believe me, the world is not a happy place when the clowns are pissed off!"
“It’s disgusting.” said Sue Flay, the Amazon strong-woman. “I put on a quality act wrestling boa constrictors and throwing cannon balls through stone walls, things that take real nerve and talent, and here's that crazy ass Debbie Wasserman Shitts going on stage acting a fool, talking out her ass and gets big buck contributions from all the lard butted businessmen who really just want to get in her pants. It is so unfair!”
“They are all cutting into our territory.” said Craven Moorehead, the chief clown and part time manure raker for the the circus. “We all spend years in clown school to perfect our craft, spending hours cramming into small cars, learning more about makeup application than Revlon will ever know and we get sidelined by this First Lady who obviously pays an ex-clown to dress her an give fashion tips. An those patent black leather shoe conformists like Nancy Pelosi who stand totally still on stage ranting like bad lunatic comedian about this amendment or that and they get all the air time in the world. And who the hell does her makeup, Stevie Wonder? They never have to endanger themselves with a prat fall or get shot out of a cannon. No! The worse thing they ever sprain is their jaw from so much blabbering."
Tess Steckle, the gate cashier and most normal person we could find to interview had this to say; “It is just disgusting. In all my years at the circus I have seen our people endangering life and limb to entertain people and these amateur clowns get more camera time than we have gotten since the fucking tent burned down in Pittsburgh back in 68'. They get Ma and Pa Small Town U.S.A. to come to their rallies and the media to cover them every time they fart . How are we to compete with that?”
Clown Car driver Jim Shorts ask us  “Why is it that America looks now to Joe Biden, mush-mouth Barney Frank and a sorry Bozo like Jay Carney and all these others for their comic relief? We're the ones out here trying to put on a professional show! These others are all rank amateurs. We're thinking of changing over to wearing suits to compete. I never thought I would see the day we'd have to stoop to being straight, but it appears to be the only way we can keep up with these guys. It is so humiliating!”
The Washington Law Firm of  Soo,Yu & Lovett have been retained to represent Ringling Brother. The White House legal team refuse comment from their weekly Ping Pong tournament at the time of this writing.