NSA Overwhelmed by Father's Day Messages

Middle Finger News Service

N.S.A. director General Keith B. Alexander

The NSA announced today that they were once again overwhelmed by the email and telephone traffic this Father's Day Weekend. "Tracking over 110 million messages taxed our limits of capacity for information gathering while adding to our normal load of domestic taps", said  N.S.A. director General Keith B. Alexander Monday. 

While General Alexander added the amount of traffic intercepted falls short of the 130 million Mother’s Day messages collected by the N.S.A. in May, the NSA has a backlog of unread messages still to be read.  He added " we also collected in the neighborhood of two to three million such e-mails from angry mothers this year who failed to hear from their children."

The N.S.A. director stated while the agency had not foiled any terror plots over the weekend they did uncover between twenty and thirty thousand extramarital relationships.