Sunday, June 29, 2014

Why Every Woman Should Arm Themselves

Saturday night after leaving a dinner and a little live New Orleans blues music at one of my favorite Cafe' Bars, my two female companions and I were approached by a man wielding a very large knife in an attempt to persuade us to turn over our purses to him. His nervousness told me he was not a professional at this at all. So I raised my purse and held it out to him at about eye level to block his view as I gently reached under my blouse. As he grabbed the purse, he was met with a bosom holster warmed barrel of my Walther PPK, and in line with his left temple. His expression was classic.

He dropped the knife and purse and said "please don't kill me lady....I'm just dead broke".

One of my sisters in victim hood laughingly said "What do we do with him now.....cut off his (insert your own term here)?" And out of the blue, my other girl friend said as she reached into her purse "You crazy #@%&*, you don't bring a knife to a gunfight", and handed him ten dollars. "NOW TAKE OFF YOUR PANTS!"

He nervously looked at me and I said "Do as the Lady says."

We sent him confused and bewildered on his way with his tail between his legs, and called 911 and reported a half naked man running loose in the area. Had I known he broke my purse mirror when he dropped it, I may have just put one in his foot.

Ladies, learn to defend yourself.

If anyone is interested in a pair of previously own Haggar Khakis, size 38 waist and 34 inseam, drop me a line.