Monday, September 14, 2015

Diogenes' Early Predictions for the 2016 Presidential Election

DMF's State-of-the-Art  Eco-friendly Clean Coal Fired Mainframe  

DMF- Utilizing the massive power of DMF/MFNS new computer system, we undertook the scouring of the interwebs to collect as much information as possible from polling organizations, opinion pages, on-line polls, blog post (both left and right) advice columns and from newspaper pundit's drivel for the purpose of analyzing the present political landscape and boldly predicting the outcome of the 2016 presidential election. 

We gave the collected info to our crack team of semi-competent analyst made up of primarily the staff, the photoshop department, the MFNS foreign and domestic news bureau reporters, the window washers and the bearded guy who hangs out behind the building. They labored for many arduous hours, drinking and cussing while pouring over the mountains of info to come to a solid set conclusions and predictions. 

Although it's still very early, we are confident our findings gleaned from the available information will hold up in the future, especially in light of the present political trends. These finding are not scientific, cause we ain't scientist. Therefore, all disclaimers are hereby claimed.  

You can read our projections of who the eventual parties nominees will be, and the election prediction after the jump......

2016 Presidential Election Predictions
(in order of finish)

Republican Party - Trump/Cruz
Projected Percentage of Popular Vote: 54%

Campaign Issues: Immigration, Jobs, the Economy, National Defense

USOJ Independent Party - Sanders/Weir
(The United Socialist Open Jam Party of America)
Projected Percentage of Popular Vote:  27%

Campaign Issues: Tax the Rich, Jailing the Koch Brothers, Overthrow the Bankers

Democrat Party  - Biden/Sanchez
Projected Percentage of Popular Vote: 19%

Campaign Issues: SOS the Dems been Feeding Us For 60 Years.


Hillary Rodham Clinton
5 - 10 in Federal Lockup

(Bribery, Malfeasance in Office, Perjury and various other Felonies) 

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