|"Watch Out Men, She's Got a Sniper Rifle"|
MFNS - Middle Finger News Service has confirmed rumors that have swirled for weeks in the military community of the training of special forces units for a secret mission, slated for inauguration Day 2017. Lt. General Ward Hawk of 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment Central Command (Delta) told MFNS the Pentagon has given the green light to special training of Delta Force Commando Units.
The mission (code named unknown) came about because of intelligence gathered recently by White House Military Personal of a disturbing private conversion overheard between two White House residents.
In a tape of a loud and spirited conversation recorded in the White House family residence, Marion 'Moms' Robinson, Mother of First Lady Michelle Obama, reportedly told her daughter she felt slighted after reading a report on a fake news site called The Boston Tribune, and repeated by dumbass bloggers, that Moms Robinson would receive a yearly $160,000 taxpayer funded retirement for being Mooch's mother. During the same conversation Mrs. Robinson was angrily heard to say she was "under no circumstances" leaving the White House after Mr. Obama's term is up:
"I know that big eared nigga I told you not to marry is gonna take my daughter and grand babies off to live in the lap of luxury in Hawaii and send my ass back to an old folks home in that crime ridden Chicago! NO MA'AM....ain't gonna happen! I ain't moving out........I ain't going nowheres. THIS PLACE IS MY REPARATIONS!" Uh Huh.
|First Lady and Moms Robinson in Cuba|
Word is that the Navy Seals will also train for a like mission at the Navel Observatory, the residence of the Vice president, just in case the Joe Biden barricades himself in a closet.