Sunday, April 30, 2017

Study: SJW Protesters Causing Increase in Global Warming / Climate Change

Middle Finger News Service Wire: 

MFNS-HQ - According to study by Dr. Gunther Umph, a sociobiologist from Korkosaven University in Gorgamet, Denmark, the areas around the world with climbing temperature readings tend to be inhabited by more aggressive, bellicose peoples, or “hotheads,” as the study calls them, while colder zones are home to more peaceful, even timid populations.

In his studies most important finding, his team of scientists concluded that in the US the collective Social Justice Warrior protest movement's belligerence is a form of literal hot-headedness, in which screaming protesters transfer their body heat to the head and turns the mind into a stew of animal reactions, bypassing the brain’s rational faculties and driving the groups to childish displays of wonton irrationality and brutality, resulting in the release of tremendous amounts of heat in the immediate atmosphere.

Along with the atmospheric warming effect the large groups of hot headed SJW protesters emit, massive amounts of CO2 emissions from the screaming protest also bolsters the effects of Climate Change.

Since last summer, after the nomination of Donald Trump as President and the increasing number of rallies and protest over his every policy and word, large groups  of SJW protesters of all stripes have gathered in their ever increasing 'Hot Headedness' and become more intolerant while dramatical contributing to Climate Change Dr. Umph  told us.

The researchers tested their hypothesis by observing the facial expressions and by measuring the heat emitted from large groups of protesters at a recent Berkeley protest. Radical leftist became increasingly agitated, irrational and violent, some messing their underwear, as sweat streamed down their faces and dampening their clothes, raising local CO2 levels and a trail of refuge behind. 

In the words of Dr. Umph "These Social Justice protesters are going to kill us all!"

The reaction to the release of the Study was predictable. The leader of "Peace for the Planet" protest group called for massive nationwide protest against the study and violent overthrow of the new Presidential Administration.