|JTP Hogsdon and His Nondiverse USWCM Social Media Research Team|
A Middle Finger News Service Exclusive:
Scientists have discovered a powerful new strain of fact-resistant humans who are threatening the ability of Earth to sustain life, a sobering new study reports. The appearance of the phenomenon is being called "Cortex Neurophy Numbosis" or CNN for short - but not to be confused with typical Liberal Brain Shrivel.
The research, conducted Dr. JTP Hogsdon and his team at the University of Southern West Central Minnesota, identifies a virulent strain of humans who are virtually immune to any form of verifiable knowledge, leaving scientists at a loss as to how to combat them. More worryingly, Hogsdon told us, as facts have multiplied, their defenses against those facts have only grown more powerful. The normal functions of human consciousness have been completely nullified.
"What we find most puzzling are the strain of fact-resistant humans that seem to deny that aiming a gun at a law enforcement officer is not going to end well, strapping a bomb to themselves does not advance the religion of peace, and most puzzling to us in our findings, why people continue to vote Democrat?"While scientists have no clear understanding of the mechanisms that prevent the fact-resistant humans from absorbing data, they theorize that the strain may have developed the ability to intercept and discard information en route from the auditory nerve to the brain.
While reaffirming the gloomy assessments of the study, Hogsdon held out hope that the threat of fact-resistant humans could be mitigated in the future. “Our research is very preliminary, but it's possible that they will become more receptive to facts once they are in an environment without food, water, or oxygen,” he said.
~Thank You Hot Coffee@Rumor Mill News for the Linkage!~