Trinidad And Tobago Makes Important Announcement On Nicki Minaj's Cousin's Friend's Balls

Sorry, but this is really the only political story happening in America — the case of Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls what are actually in the nation of Trinidad and Tobago, and whether they became super-sized by the COVID vaccine — and there's an important update.

Last night, Tucker Carlson offered, like the important journalist he is, to travel in an aeroplane over the sea to Port of Spain, Trinidad and Tobago, to stick a microphone down Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's pants to see if that cousin's friend's balls were very big because of the COVID vaccine. As of this publishing, we do not know whether Tucker will end up making that journey. 

But the internet is telling us that the minister of health for Trinidad and Tobago, whose name is Terrence Deyalsingh, felt compelled to address the size of Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls in his COVID update. He said they "wasted so much time yesterday running down this false claim," and concluded that there is no known side effect to the COVID vaccine that includes your balls or Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls or Nicki Minaj's balls.

🇹🇹Minister of Health Terrence Deyalsingh says claims made by @NICKIMINAJ are Not True! pic.twitter.com/dcApHfsq1n

— Marie Hull 💉💉 (@MariefHull) September 15, 2021

From what we can tell, this is all real and true and not some amazing parody. Terrence Deyalsingh is definitely the minister of health for Trinidad and Tobago. And WHATEVER caused Nicki Minaj's cousin's friend's balls to have all the problems, it wasn't the COVID vaccine. Consider yourself informed.

[Evan Hurst]

[Nicki Minaj's Left Nut]