Thursday, February 9, 2023

Senator Shotgun Fetterman Rushed to DC Hospital

Democrat Senator John "Shotgun" Fetterman was hospitalized last night at George Washington hospital after feeling light-headed while attending a Democratic retreat. Doctors believe there was no evidence of a new stroke. More tests are being run and the senator says he is in "good spirits".

DMF resident Medical Expert, Dr. Z. Cockburn Savage III, believes Fetterman's latest health issue could very well be one of the many known side effects of listening to Joe Biden speak for prolonged periods of time. Doctor Savage also postulated the Senator could have been traumatized from wearing a suit for an extended period.

We are all praying for a speedy recovery John.


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