Sunday, March 5, 2023

CNN Announces 2023 Prom Queen / King Nominations

MFNS - After a three year long hiatus because of covid, CNN has decided to bring back their yearly Corporate Prom, Talent Show and Primal Scream Competition for it's employees. The event is intended to be a bit of sunshine in a sea of bad ratings for beleaguered network personalities doing heated battle rating races with local cable access gardening shows and reruns of 50 year old Perry Mason episodes.

Former CNN anchor and recovering makeup addict, Brook Baldwin, a five time Prom Queen (2011-16) revealed in her recent book "WTF Am I Working Here for?? - Memories of My Days at CNN", that the CNN Prom Queen Reign was an opportunity to show all the other ambitious CNN employees just who "The Bitch Who Shall Not Be Fucked With" is for the following year. But she also said the crown sometime results in bad feelings, sharp words and hair pulling screaming matches in the women restroom.

CNN has opened up the voting for the Prom Queen, and since they've lost 75% of their audience, they invite the general public who still watch CNN to help choose. So here's your opportunity to do your civic duty and help crown the newest Queen of CNN from this bevy of talented beauties.

Leave your choices in the comments and we'll make sure your vote get counted. No mail in ballots will be counted. Otherwise we use democrat election rules. You are allowed to vote numerous times, but within a reasonable number.

It's's history or something. Here are your CNN 2023 Prom Queen Nominees:

Editrix Update: It was just announced by the CNN 'Department of Diversity & Inclusion' that in the spirit of fairness, Prom King nominations would the limited to CNN's 2 Black male employees only.

This break in tradition caused Don Lemon (Prom Queen 2017-18) nomination to be moved from the 'Queen' to 'King' Category to create competition, which caused Victor Blackwell to accuse CNN of racism. 

Your MOF Prom King Nominees:

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