Thursday, May 28, 2015

Kenyan Lawyer Wants to Marry Obama's Daughter Malaria

Inheriting the Ravishing Beauty of Her Mother, Obama Daughter 1 is Hot in Kenya

Malaria Malia Obama may only be sixteen years old, but that’s not stopping one Kenyan admirer who seeks her hand in marriage.   Felix Kiprono, a lawyer, has been interested in Malia  since the first time he saw her as a 10 years old. When Daddy Obama arrives on a visit to Kenya to see the folks in July, Felix has a big proposal waiting for him.
IJR - Felix Kiprono said he was willing to pay 50 cows, 70 sheep and 30 goats in order to fulfill his dream of marrying the first daughter. “I got interested in her in 2008,” Kiprono said, in an interview with The Nairobian newspaper. 
"People might say I am after the family's money, which is not the case. My love is real.  As a matter of fact, I haven't dated anyone since and promise to be faithful to her. I have shared this with my family and they are willing to help me raise the bride price.” 
The Kenyan lawyer says if Obama accepts the request, the engagement will be 'unique with a twist'.  
"If my request is granted, I will not resort to the cliche of popping champagne. Instead, I will surprise her with mursik, the traditional Kalenjin sour milk. As an indication that she is my queen, I will tie sinendet, which is a sacred plant, around her head. I will propose to her on a popular hill in Bureti near my father’s land where leaders and warriors are usually crowned. The place is called Kapkatet, which means ‘victory’, adding, “ours will be a simple life. I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali and prepare mursik like any otherKalenjin woman."
He also said he and his princess would lead “a simple life”. 
“I will teach Malia how to milk a cow, cook ugali (maize porridge) and prepare mursik like any other Kalenjin woman."
In Kenya, wedding dowries are common, as it’s seen as a rite of passage through the family. According to Time, the price of the bride is the equivalent of five years of the groom’s salary. Looks promising.  


Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Al Sharpton Has a Serious Question for Ya...

Here's your future answer to: Hey Babe, make me a sandwich?

Meet MOTOMAN 
World’s First Robot Chef Makes 2000 Different Dishes,
Demands $0/hour in Pay

ACC - Say hello to the not too distant future. In the next 10 years robots will change our world in huge ways. They will upend labor markets and change our politics. Add in the Oculus Rift which makes real live virtual reality yours for $500, and watch out. You think the Internet changed your life? Just you wait.
"The world’s first robot chef took a bow on the grand stage when it cooked for attendees at the Consumer Electronics Show (CES) in Shanghai this past weekend.
The machine, designed by London’s Moley Robotics, is slated to host a library of 2,000 dishes to pull from by the time it’s launched for the consumer market in 2017. The machine is able to stir, adjust the hob, pick up bottles, pour jugs, and perform other movements.
The robot display at CES 2015 came with a pre-equipped kitchen, as it is necessary for it to have an understanding of the placement of utensils and ingredients, though the consumer model will also be able to be integrated into pre-existing kitchens, reported Crave Online." 


I'm sure eventually there will be a more shapely MOTOGIRL version for those who tend to lean more towards the knuckle dragging side of manhood.......But until then, make your own damn sandwich!  ;)

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Bernie Sanders Condemns Existence of 23 Different Deodorants Brands

Kooky Bernie: "You don’t necessarily need a choice of 23 underarm spray deodorants."

I must say, I'm struggling a bit here to equate underarm deodorant with hungry children or taxing the rich, but then again, it came from the mouth of self-proclaimed socialist and Presidential candidate, Sen. Bernie Sanders. So you figure it out....

“You don’t necessarily need a choice of 23 underarm spray deodorants when children are hungry in this country,” Sanders told John Harwood in an interview posted Tuesday. 
Sanders has advocated for returning the personal income tax rate to 90 percent for top earners, as it was in the 1950s. He brushed off the comments from businesses that have called his “revolution” for the transfer of wealth from the top earners to the middle class, similar to Nazi Germany. 
“These people are so greedy, they’re so out of touch with reality,” Sanders said. “You know what? Sorry, you’re all going to have to pay your fair share of taxes.”The New York Times reported that Sanders is fine with reducing economic growth if it reduces income inequality."
This is Hillary Clinton's only competition so far for the Democrat Nomination .........


Monday, May 25, 2015

MFNS: Obama to Punish Mid-South States With New Taxes

Middle Finger News Service Wire
For Immediate Release:



 Next thing you know Obozo will be taxing us for excessive wind,
and a shortage of windmills...... 


On Memorial Day

"In our effort to accommodate many Americans by making the last Monday in May, Memorial Day, we have lost sight of the significance of this day to our nation. Instead of using Memorial Day as a time to honor and reflect on the sacrifices made by Americans in defense of freedom, many Americans use the day as a celebration of the beginning of summer."  —  Purple Heart Recipient and Former United States Senator Daniel Inouye
Flanders Field American Military Cemetery - Waregem Belgium, Near My Childhood Home
                                   


In Flanders fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses, row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky

The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago
We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,
Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.


Written by Major John McCrae, - 1st Brigade Canadian Field Artillery - May 1915.
____________________


This weekend, the school children of Waregem and nearby Mons will turn Flanders Cemetery into a sea of color; of Red poppy flowers and American and Belgian Flags just as they have for more than 90 years. On the door to the Flanders Field Chapel are written but three words: "Lest We Forget".  

We need not forget as well.......