Monday, November 26, 2012

First Lady to Return to Humiliating Nations Youth

Middle Finger News Service

Michelle Obama said she'll get back to humiliating the fat kids of the nation after they've "stuffed their chubby little faces with candy and goodies during the holidays." The First Lady vows to continue to her campaign to stamp out obesity after the school holiday break even if it starves and pisses off an entire generation. "These are kids who stuff there faces with Mickey-D's French fries and aren't even healthy enough to run away from a Republican pervert." The First Lady vows to continue to her campaign to stamp out
The task is a daunting one after The First Lady found herself the subject of a round of booing while she served Thanksgiving dinner at the White House to family and guests in the White House Dinning Room.

Eyewitness reports had difficulty identifying the origination of the booing, which by many accounts appeared to be scattered throughout the dining room. Secret Service agents believed they had pinpointed the source of the booing to the kids' table, where Vice President Joe Biden was also seated, but further investigation revealed a possible second booer situated behind the coffee cart.

According to reports from other staff members and invited guests, events that transpired prior to dinner being served may also have contributed to the booing incident. One guest who arrived early managed to capture cell phone video of a frantic Michelle asking daughters Sasha and Malia to "stay out of the sweet potatoes and to go find that big eared daddy of theirs!"

"I mean, I, uhh, wasn't planning on booing her, but I heard the kids and you know how you just kinda get caught up in that stuff," said a grinning President Obama.

Reports that Michelle gave everyone the finger when she realized she was being booed remain unfounded, but those in attendance generally agree she did shoot a series of symbolic icy stares at the president that indicated he will be spending nights on the sofa in the hallway outside the family residence for the foreseeable future.

Mrs. Obama said she enjoyed dinnertime with her family and was looking forward to a modest helping of dessert followed by her leading a brisk walk around the white House grounds for all in attendance to offset the extra caloric intake.