Saturday, February 9, 2019

Time is Running Out Y'all: Get In Your Reservations For That Romantic Valentines Dinner at The Waffle House


You once-a-year Don Juans out there don’t forget that Waffle House is currently taking reservations for your Valentine’s Day dinner. I Shit You Not! “Hundreds of Waffle Houses across the country are now taking reservations for a romantic dinner with your main squeeze, complete with white tablecloths, candlelight and a special menu.”

What could possibly be more elegant and romantic than dinner at Waffle House I ask you? I mean that’s like at least a Two maybe, Three Michelin Star dining experience sure to impress even the most discerning of semi-sober Valentines. And although it’s not mentioned, chances are you’ll get a free show along with your fine dining experience. It might be a man falling through the ceiling, an armed robbery attempt, unruly teens being arrested by police, a customer being decorated like a cheeseburger, an employees brawling! All of these things have occurred at Waffle Houses across the country in the last couple years. Who knows what you’ll get to see?

And hey,  if you’re looking to adopt, you might even find an abandoned infant like this one! But if you’re really lucky maybe the lovely Myeisha might be out on bail that night, wander in naked and treat you and your special Valentine to a crack-induced lap dance!  

Like you, I had no idea this is the 12th year Waffle House has offered the magical event. You can a check a full list for a location near you. Viva la Romance! Viva Waffle House! 

(Fortunately, our local Waffle Houses are not Participating.....)


H/T To Our Friends At DEF-CON News

~ Thank You WHATFINGER NEWS for the Linkage! ~

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