Sunday, July 24, 2011

Proposed Law Rattles Washington's Elite

A Washington D.C. think-tank today proposed a controversial  new law named, 'No Politician Left Behind', which would pay congressmen and the President solely on the basis of performance. 

 Predictably, the idea of merit pay drew howls of protest from mostly Democrat party lawmakers, many claiming that if the law was pasted and enacted it would result in their financial ruin. Appearances on Sunday morning talk shows, flying around on government planes or blowing smoke up the taxpayers ass on C-Span will not be considered as real work. 
 
The law, which was proposed by the Bo Bo Braniganskie Institute of Government Policy, “would make a serious dent in the Federal spending because few if any politicians would ever have to be paid,” said the Institutes director, Davis David. “Right now, the President or Congressman  can get paid even when they storm out of budget negotiations in a hissy fit. Under this new law, the rule would be, no budget, no paycheck.”

“If passed, this law would be tantamount to the establishment of ‘Work Panels,’ which would determine whether individual congressmen are accomplishing anything,” said Sen. Al Frankin (D.-Minn).I  for one, would be in deep, deep shit.”

“I’m fairly sure that this law is unconstitutional,” said Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-NY). “Now, I have never actually read the Constitution, but if this law were passed I would probably be forced to read it or live in a cardboard box  like my constituents.”

Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Cal.) said that creating performance standards for lawmakers was “an insult to the institution of Congress.”

“We have spent millions of dollars, some of it out of our own pockets, to get to Washington,” she said. “We did not come here to be treated like F**kin teachers!” 

Joe Biden was unavailable for comment. 

_____________________________________________

2 comments:

  1. Having spent the second half of my adult working career as a high school social studies teacher, I found the Pelosi parody quote, “We have spent millions of dollars, some of it out of our own pockets, to get to Washington,” she said. “We did not come here to be treated like F**kin teachers!.”, ROTFLMAO damn funny.

    BTW, I was the ONLY political conservative in a social studies department of 13 teachers over a 20 year teaching career. It made for interesting department meetings to say the least.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This is actually not a bad idea. Some would even be such p**s poor performers that they would have to PAY to be legislators.

    ReplyDelete