Sunday, August 21, 2011

S & P Downgrades MSNBC Host's IQ

Nominee for Diogenes' 2011 Asshat of the Year

In light of resent idiotic statements, Standard and Poor’s took the unprecedented action today of downgrading media personality Special Ed Schultz IQ. While the effects of such an extraordinary measure are hard to predict, experts say the IQ downgrade could result in Schultz having difficulty completing sentences, operating a television remote and excessive drooling.

 Ed and Edith Schultz 
Insiders at MSNBC, the unruly little bastard brother of the once respected NBC News, says Schlutz recent psychotic outbursts and rambling diatribes against anyone on the right is in some part his attempt to remain ahead of the networks newest ratings sensation, the always eloquent cultural pundit and International Geopolitical expert, Al Sharpton. At this writing, they seem to be in a heated race to the bottom of the cable ratings. 

Schultz's twin sister Edith Schultz Hayes, wife of Marvin Ashcott Hayes, the heir to the Tampon fortune told Diogenes the family all think Ed is "very special", but fear he may come unglued right there on the air. "Eddy and I grew up poor" she said, and that Ed was sometime forced to wear Edith's clothes. "That and eating his boogers kinda made Ed a little twisted, ya know."



  1. Too frigging funny, but true. Booger eater and all!

  2. BSNBC should consider tag teaming Special Ed and the Rev. What a duo! Dumb and Dumber as a show title just wouldn't quite capture the essence of these two cognitively challenged bozos.

  3. Good Post. Here's something else not many know.