Our Government in Action.....

Government bureaucrats: that thin, blue-flannel-suit line between civilization and Somalia. The Environmental Protection Agency, for instance, keeps us from having exploding water and headless chickens have done some odd things recently.  Contractors built secret man caves in an EPA warehouse, an employee pretended to work for the CIA to get unlimited vacations and one worker even spent most of his time on the clock looking at pornography. But it appears, however, that a regional office has reached a new low.

Management for Region 8 in Denver, Colo., wrote an email earlier this year to all staff in the area pleading with them to stop inappropriate bathroom behavior.  Eric Katz of the FedBlog tells America that EPA employees ARE POOPING IN THE HALLWAY, and that they are being told to STOP IT.

"In the email, obtained by Government Executive, Deputy Regional Administrator Howard Cantor mentioned “several incidents” in the building. Confounded by what to make of this occurrence, EPA management “consulted” with workplace violence “national expert” John Nicoletti, who said that hallway feces is in fact a health and safety risk. He added the behavior was “very dangerous” and the individuals responsible would “probably escalate” their actions. 

“Management is taking this situation very seriously and will take whatever actions are necessary to identify and prosecute these individuals" 

He asked for any employees with knowledge of the poop bandit or bandits to notify their supervisor. EPA spokesman Richard Mylott provided the following statement:

“EPA cannot comment on ongoing personnel matters. Our brief consultation with Dr. Nicoletti on this matter, a resource who regularly provides our office with training and expertise on workplace issues, reflects our commitment to securing a safe workplace.”

“Dangerous”? “Escalating”?  Smearing shit around is a time-honored tradition in American government.