Monday, September 28, 2015

Clintons Enlisted Steven Spielberg to Help Remake Hillary Into Someone Likeable


The Spectacle 
Clinton supporters remain remarkably confused as to why their chosen candidate is having such a difficult time relating to the common people, even though she's clearly been communing with the proletariat on a regular basis since this candidacy took flight. To the public, of course, Hillary's lack of appeal is self-evident; her prickly, false demeanor speaks volumes about her ambition and her desire to lead. She'd make an excellent President - if only the job didn't involve actual Americans.
According to a new book, Bill Clinton recognized Hillary's disconnect early on and tried to hire master filmmaker Steven Spielberg to mold Clinton's image. The effort, though, turned out less like the director's remarkable crafting of an extraterrestrial into a friendly sidekick in E.T. and more like the crafting of an angry, reanimated Elsa Lanchester. 
Hillary Clinton enlisted the help of Steven Spielberg in an attempt to maker her seem more likeable, a new book claims.
The front-runner for the Democratic presidential nomination was urged to seek help by her husband Bill Clinton - and he told her: 'Let’s ask Steven for help,' according to the book, which is called "Unlikeable".
So their friend Spielberg provided acting coaches to help Hillary prepare for speeches. But the sessions came to an abrupt end after Hillary took her frustrations out on a camera and knocked it off its tripod, according to an excerpt of the book published in the New York Post. 
Hillary. Angry. Hillary. SMASH.
Apparently, she didn't like the suggestion that she "pretend" to like her audiences. After all, according to Hillary, she got paid a quarter million to deliver her speeches to salivating audiences across the globe - what advice did she really need professional actors? She's clearly fantastic at the art.
Since Spielberg has since bowed out of the process - at least according to reports - Clinton is taking on a different tactic in ingratiating herself to a willing public, aligning with comedian Amy Schumer and whatever-she-is Lena Dunham to chat about things Americans really care about, like Wall Street bankers and Lenny Kravitz's undercarriage. 
Unfortunately, Lena Dunham is a softball interview, so even as Clinton lies directly to her face - she's not going to take on a single big bank, as she's already gotten millions from hedge fund bankers and financial sector PACs, and as we've seen her level of experience with technology, it's difficult to believe she could find a viral video on YouTube - so we're still left wondering whether Clinton really even lives in the same world the rest of us do. The interview even makes Kanye West look thoughtful by comparison.