To Crunch or Not to Crunch. That is the Question

Doritos New Low Noise-High Performance 'Lady-Friendly' Chips

Ya know for far too long, ladies like myself have had to sit by the wayside as we watch our men enjoying the delicious flavored tortilla chips known to the world as Doritos. As much as we might try to enjoy them ourselves, certain things have always gotten in the way. The crunching for one, is far too loud!

As a woman, I pride myself on being as accommodating as humanly possible, and “too loud” crunching could interrupt a man when he is explaining to me why I am wrong, or while watching his favorite TV show. 

How can one be seen and not heard with all that CRUNCHING going on? Chomp chomp chomp! So unladylike! And the powder! Don’t even get me started on the powder. Why, my favorite pair of white gloves is all but ruined with red-gold nacho cheese stains from the last time I attempted to eat some!

But finally, the good people at Doritos have an answer to my womanly woes! They are now creating a lady-friendly version of their classic chips that will crunch less and be less “messy,” thereby preventing us from ruining our good white gloves or — heaven forbid — being compelled to lick our fingers. The chips will also be smaller in size — so that they may fit more comfortably in our tiny ladyhands and fit comfortably inside our tiny ladymouths — and will come in a package that we can fit inside our purses for discreet on-the-go snacking.

PepsiCo’s female lady global chief executive Indra Nooyi just gets us:

“When you eat out of a flex bag — one of our single-serve bags — especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavour, and the broken chips in the bottom,” Indra Nooyi, global chief executive at PepsiCo said in an interview with Freakonomics Radio. “Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavour into their mouth.”

This sounds really lovely and I personally am quite excited about all this. It’s great to be a woman these days. Hey, we can even be Colonel Sanders! And flavored tortilla chips are now no longer only the province of men, or just another incitement for lovemakin'. And I say that's a win Baby!

(The UK Independent)
H/T One Size Fittsal

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!