Monday, February 12, 2018

PoonChang Olympic Update

BULLETIN- 2/12:  Despite Kim Jong Un's Ugly Sister Yo grabbing the American Media's full praise and filling their drool cups to the brim for giving VP Mike Pence the Stink Eye at the opening ceremonies, and the fact Global Warming has delayed many of the scheduled outside events due to  cold and windy conditions, this weekends real action and news took place inside on the IceHere are just a few highlights from this weekend:
The flamboyant Mike Pence hating gay Ice Skater, Adam Rippon, got his panties in a twist for only placing 3rd in his portion of the team competition Sunday. So good was he, his Rump Ranger commentator friend Johnnie Weir said, “Had me quaking.”  Note to Adam: Don't act more effeminate than the female skaters on the team and stop dressing like Nancy Kerrigan.....then maybe you will impress the judges, just sayin..... 

In the women's portion of the team skating event, the sole female member of the Palestinian National Ice Team, Hadia Mohammad Tashid, shown here after her failed attempt at the first ever "Quaduple axel-backflip-triple toe loop reverse spin salchow" in ice skating competition, just after she lost her place on the ice when her Hijab slipped down over her face. The Palestinian team finish 26th, just edging out the team from Somalia.

In one of the biggest upsets of the night, the Canadians swept the Skateless Ice Dancing Pairs competition after the odds on favored World Champion Team from Spain, seen here executing their signature "Barcelona Butt Spin", scored low on style points after making uncharacteristic mistakes. 

Although he is barred by governments from entering almost every country on the the Asian Continent, MFNS Ace Correspondent, Earl Of Taint ,has managed to sneak into South Korea to give us his first-person report from the PoonChang Olympic Games. 
Earl sent along a this excellent report complete with pictures of this weekends skating competition.

Shown here is the creepy NORK Cheer Squad cheering North Korean No Phuc Du during 5000 meter Speed Skating Team elimination finals.

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