Nan Is On It....

Trump Gets Clean Bill of Health. Nancy Pelosi Not So Much.....

Robert Mueller Appoints Special Prosecutor To Investigate Robert Mueller's Conflicts Of Interest

Middle Finger News Service -  Among calls of foul by the president and some on the right of the Robert Mueller investigation's ties and shady practices, Special Counsel Robert Mueller has appointed himself Special Prosecutor to investigate Robert Muellar's suspected Conflicts Of Interest. This shocking news should put to rest all the rumors that Donald Trump would fire Mueller or that Mueller would be forced to resign.

By appointing himself to investigate himself, Robert Mueller has quelled with finality all the calls to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate the high level corruption at the Department of Justice, F.I.B F.B.I., and the conflicts of interest by so many at the Special Counsel’s Office as well as questions of conflict swirling around the massive investigation of President Donald J. Trump, at public expense,  by Robert Mueller.

The nearly constant reports of Trump hating leadership at the DOJ/FBI blocking an indictment of Hillary Clinton thereby committing the crime of obstruction of justice due to their political preferences, Trump hating conspiracies at the highest levels of the Justice Department and F.I.B. F.B.I. with intent to frame and remove a duly elected president, evidence of text messages in furtherance of the coup plots among the coup plotters, questions of a vast army of prosecutors hired by Robert Mueller most of whom donated vast amounts of funds to Barack Obama and/or Hillary Clinton and/or the DNC/leftists, questions born of the facts that spouses of prosecutors received money from Hillary Clinton supporters during political campaigns of one spouse and yet another spouse who worked for Fusion GPS on dirt dossiers directed against President Trump, a dirty dossier comprised of Russian government disinformation bought and paid for by the Hillary Clinton campaign then suspected of being used to obtain FISA warrants with which to spy on the presidential campaign of Donald J. Trump, clear violations of Fourth Amendment protections during the transition period for a President-Elect team that used government servers to communicate among themselves when making appointments and legal decisions, are now a completely closed matter with the appointment by Robert Mueller of Robert Mueller to investigate Robert Mueller. 

The wise move by Special Counsel Robert Mueller to investigate Robert Mueller should put an end to all the conspiracy theories about any possible conflicts of interest by Robert Mueller. The investigation of Robert Mueller should end with a final report around 2024 or after the impeachment of President Michael Pence, whichever comes first.  

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

This Just In:

Terror Comes to My Little Corner of the World

Initially Reported As A Terrorist Attack

No one is 100% safe. Terror can strike anywhere, when you least expect it just as it did here where I live on an autumn afternoon in peaceful North Louisiana this weekend.  Fortunately for me, I was in far away Tiger Stadium enjoying LSU brutalize the Texas Aggies and didn't have to personally witness the unthinkable act of despicable humanity visited upon some of my fellow citizens.  You can Read The News Account HERE.

Looks Like Hillary Lost Another One

Thank You Pookie for the Linkage!

Donna Unveils Her New Book

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Just Sayin'

More Proof Climate Change is Affecting the Animal Kingdom

Hurricane Irma Had Heroes Too......

🏃 🏃🏃🏃 🏃

Earl has been down covering the hardest hit in the south Texas area,

you can check out his report HERE

Coach Elated Malia Obama Enrolled at Harvard

Middle Finger Sports - In a preseason Ivy League roundup interview with MFN Sports, the coaching staff of Harvard Football said they are excited to see one particular freshman come to campus this year, Malia Obama.

The Harvard Crimson Head coach told us: "When we look at this young woman, who obviously takes after her mother rather then her father, we see in the coming year or two a 6ft. something, 190lb+ linebacker in the making. Just look a her mother, she's built like a Chicago Bears lineman!  We don't get guys built like her at Harvard.  So we're really hoping after Ms. Obama starts bulking up to her mother's size she will consider trying out for the team as a walk-on. Combine her fathers athletic prowess and deceiving moves with her mother's build, we're talkin' some real potential right there babe!"

"As we see it, with that kinda size and looks, and if she has even a  fraction of her mother's angry black women in her, she'll scare the hell out of those Yale and Princeton white boys! And for Gawd sakes man, this is Harvard football, we need all the help can get!"

When we asked if he had any qualms of putting a female on a varsity football team he said: "You're kidding right? We're talking Ivy League football here! Our only concern as of now is maybe special equipment, like boobstical protection, and maybe a custom helmet. We're not sure if she has her father's ears or not." 

New Findings Validate Health Benefits of Large Butts

- Middle Finger News Service Wire
by Dolly Macintosh

MFN - Atlanta Ga.- A new study released by researchers at the prestigious Ima Derriere University of Atlanta, has validated the findings of study done in the last century on the health benefits of large butts. The new study seems to validate previous controversial research done by researcher Sir Mix-A-Lot, whose 1986 publication, "Baby Got Back," was in the forefront of challenging long-held views about the correlation between butt size and general health.

Published by "Def American" in a video presentation form, the article’s findings were not widely accepted at the time of publication amidst allegations that personal bias had affected the research. The allegations were never denied by Mix-A-Lot whose only response was “I like big butts and I cannot lie.”

An outlier in the scientific community for decades, Sir Mix-A-Lot’s work has slowly gained mainstream acceptance thanks to celebrities and especially the previous First Lady of the United States, Michelle Obama, who gave credence to the study by helping forward the fashion of a healthy over-sized butt by proudly displaying hers in public for 8 years. 

The article is now considered ahead of its time, and supporters note that it was one of the first publications to discuss the role that media plays in changing public perceptions about healthy body sizes. Sir Mix-A-Lot argued that “while Cosmo says your fat, well I ain’t down with dat.” 

His claims, controversial at the time, included the recommendation that those with big butts should not try to lose them through exercise. Mix-A-Lot also argued that butt-size affected more than just one’s own health. In a surprising claim, he wrote that even members of the animal kingdom could be affected, noting that anacondas “don’t want none, unless you’ve got buns hun.” The cryptic reference to the motivations of anacondas, which was not well understood at the time of the article’s publication, has resurfaced in scientific circles following the 2014 publication of Dr. Nicki Minaj’s “Anaconda” which drew heavily on Mix-A-Lot’s earlier research.  Despite recent work on the subject, the claim remains a source of controversy in zoological research. 

Medical science, however, has warmed to the key claims in Sir Mix-A-Lot’s work and most researchers now agree that big butts do not require medical intervention. Instead, more doctors are following Sir Mix-A-Lot’s recommendation and advising big butted patients to simply “shake it ...shake it... shake that healthy butt.”

Dolly Macintosh is MFNS Health and Fashion Editor. Dolly is a graduate of  the Birmingham Finishing School for Young Ladies where she earned a degree in Fitness, Fashion and Massage. She is also the author of three unpublished books. 

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Nancy Pelosi Takes Break for Health Evaluations

MFNS: Make No Mistake About It.

by the Editorial Board of Middle Finger News Service:

Make no mistake, our seasoned journalists drill down and tell the cautionary tales of bombshells that land on dumpster fires in the middle of firestorms, after the grilling of senators who pivot to whether they’d reached a tipping point or were just playing politics, not fearing the optics of thinking outside the box at the crossroads of their last ditch effort, although there is always plenty of blame to go around in the searing indictment of the favorite Washington parlor game that turns a blind eye on a potent symbol a the game-changer which dons the mantle of a hotly contested feeding frenzy. 

Needless to say, it remains to be seen in the 24-hour news cycle of the digital age, whether at first glance, the woefully inadequate, byzantine rules that burst onto the scene will allow the punditocracy to breathe a sigh of relief or will force it to vicariously probe the powers that be for the American people. But those rules double-down with strange bedfellows in the wake of keen observers of tongue-wagging, well-heeled lobbyists who meet with an ignominious end in the final analysis at the end of the day when, for all intents and purposes, cooler heads prevail at the inflection point of no return that is sometime shrouded in secrecy in an ill-advised, much-ballyhooed, hastily-convened, closely-watched and oft-cited paradigm shift of a broken system that underscores the object lesson of a Rorschach test. 

Be that as it may, this is not your father’s tectonic shift, if you will, and Christmas comes early for skittish politicans in that land of contradictions which ushered in an eye-popping era in a nutshell that, contrary to popular belief, prevents anyone from acknowledging the new norm in which there are no face-saving compromises and we all press each other’s hot-button issues which are the talk of the town.  Yet a portrait emerges of a grizzly veteran who endured withering criticism in a dizzying array of wide-ranging interviews in a nondescript office building, and of the poster child of an unsung hero who was tapped to rise from obscurity and spark a debate that raised the specter of hand-wringing partisans on both sides who trade barbs in a war of words and walked on thin ice in a charm offensive, going forward as creatures of Washington in a stinging rebuke to the fevered speculation of the proverbial growing body of evidence that shines a spotlight on a political football, which raises more questions than answers about our tightly knit social fabric.

Clinton Points Boney Finger At Middle Finger News

CNN World - After blaming the Russians, WIKI Leaks, Trump Operatives, the DNC, her Campaign Staff, James Comey, Tweeter, Facebook, Climate Change and Toenail Fungus for her unexpected loss in November, Thursday Hillary Clinton again skirted her own blame by pointing a crooked arthritic finger at the up and coming Media Giant 'Middle Finger News Service' and it's Corporate Owner, Diogenes Middle Finger.com INC.

Speaking before a gathering of Adult Diaper Manufactures Thursday, Mrs. Clinton fired both her whining barrels at the respected news organization as she became visibly upset:  

"I took great care to warn my replacement as Secretary of State, Senator John Kerry, about this vicious bunch at Middle Finger News, who he later labeled "Unamerican, Uncosmopolitan, Despicable Hooligans" after his own experiences with them.  I directly blame them for playing a large part in my ......*BURP*.... election loss for the false and totally unfair  portrayal of me to the American electorate. Especially that elusive witch who goes by the name Diogenes and her cohort.... that smartass Earl of Taint, both for their vicious satire and distorted imagery of me as a Drunken, Bumbling, Bloated, Radical Grandmother and Crime Family Boss with one foot in the grave. It's a G** D*** good thing for the whole bunch of them that I didn't get elected!!!"...... Those Rat Bastards are gonna pay!!........You HEAR ME!!!!!"

Mrs. Clinton then began repeatedly banging her head on the podium and broke down in tears and a raging coughing fit, and had to be helped off and attended to backstage.

When CNN contacted the MFNS HQ about the statement by Clinton, an unnamed MFNS spokesman refused comment, but the newsroom was heard to break out in uproarious laughter. When our reporter informed the spokesman he had never heard of Middle Finger News Service before, the spokesman laughed and responded "Don't get out much do ya Skippy? Shit, Go ask Anderson Cooper, we made him cry too!"

MFNS Obtains Leaked Former FBI Director Comey's Notes of Meeting With President

Actually, we stole it from KA-CHING 
We redacted names to protect the guilty...

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Capitol Police Report Outbreak of Drunks Wandering Hill

Doctors Report Serious Injuries Due To Sudden Change By Democrats of Comey Support

Middle Finger New Service Exclusive:

Washington DC - Thousands of Democrats around the country have reportedly been injured when their views and selective outrage made a sudden u-turn too fast in their support for fired FBI director James Comey. They had previously despised the man for costing Hillary Clinton the presidency. But suddenly, James Comey is their Jesus. 

Many of those injured suffered whiplash injuries from changing their support for Comey so suddenly. Normally, people will slow down to make a u-turn, but Democrats didn’t bother to brake even a little before changing course. Doctors couldn’t give out details due to privacy laws, but most said Dems in Congress, liberal TV pundits and some entertainment celebrities were in the most pain. One doctor who has treated many of the more seriously injured in the wake of Comey’s firing, explained:

“The common sense muscles in most Democrats are seldom used. So, when you hate somebody one day and then love them the next, it can cause a variety of injuries. Over-the-top outrage, hypocrititis, tremendous butthurt, and ruptured tendons from jumping to conclusions too quickly are all symptoms of the instantaneous flip-flopping presented by patients.” 

The best prescription for the u-turn injuries is to learn to stand on principle on most issues. However, this doesn’t come naturally for Democrats. Compounding the danger for Democrats, is their inability to remember that things they say are often recorded, and can be played back at a later date. 

This realization would prevent many of them from changing their positions so abruptly, and would cut down on the number of them who end up looking like jackasses.

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!

Study: SJW Protesters Causing Increase in Global Warming / Climate Change

Middle Finger News Service Wire: 

MFNS-HQ - According to study by Dr. Gunther Umph, a sociobiologist from Korkosaven University in Gorgamet, Denmark, the areas around the world with climbing temperature readings tend to be inhabited by more aggressive, bellicose peoples, or “hotheads,” as the study calls them, while colder zones are home to more peaceful, even timid populations.

In his studies most important finding, his team of scientists concluded that in the US the collective Social Justice Warrior protest movement's belligerence is a form of literal hot-headedness, in which screaming protesters transfer their body heat to the head and turns the mind into a stew of animal reactions, bypassing the brain’s rational faculties and driving the groups to childish displays of wonton irrationality and brutality, resulting in the release of tremendous amounts of heat in the immediate atmosphere.

Along with the atmospheric warming effect the large groups of hot headed SJW protesters emit, massive amounts of CO2 emissions from the screaming protest also bolsters the effects of Climate Change.

Since last summer, after the nomination of Donald Trump as President and the increasing number of rallies and protest over his every policy and word, large groups  of SJW protesters of all stripes have gathered in their ever increasing 'Hot Headedness' and become more intolerant while dramatical contributing to Climate Change Dr. Umph  told us.

The researchers tested their hypothesis by observing the facial expressions and by measuring the heat emitted from large groups of protesters at a recent Berkeley protest. Radical leftist became increasingly agitated, irrational and violent, some messing their underwear, as sweat streamed down their faces and dampening their clothes, raising local CO2 levels and a trail of refuge behind. 

In the words of Dr. Umph "These Social Justice protesters are going to kill us all!"

The reaction to the release of the Study was predictable. The leader of "Peace for the Planet" protest group called for massive nationwide protest against the study and violent overthrow of the new Presidential Administration.