Showing posts with label Stop And Let Me Off. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Stop And Let Me Off. Show all posts

Tuesday, May 11, 2021

Headlines From the News of '2022'

CNN Removes "News" From It's Iconic Moniker:  Decision was made about the troubled network by it's new parent company, 'Time-It-Lube Inc.' after Jake Tapper, wearing only a diaper, welding goggles and a Philadelphia Phillies baseball cap while interviewing California Governor Kaitlin Jenner about the all transgender US Olympic Gymnastics team.

Dr. Anthony Fauci Issues Newest Warning:  Strongly encourages all left-handed, redheaded women of mixed race between ages 23- 38 wear double mask inside and also outside in humidity between 32-71% over concerns of possible out-break of covid 19 in that population group.

Pete Buttigieg To Be Honored:  Transportation Secretary to be honored by LBGTQ activist by renaming a popular activity known to some as "pulling a train" to a more hip and up to date "Buttgieging".  The publisher of  the new 'Woke Edition' of the Webster's Dictionary has taken into consideration inclusion of the new word and definition in their 2nd edition next year. 
President Harris Calls For Calm: Venezuela Threatens To Cut Off  Only Remaining US Oil Supply - Says EBT Card Not Suitable Method of Payment............. Developing

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Thursday, December 31, 2020

2020 Was a Great Year........

From an essay by James Madison

"In 2020, the elites learned to live in complete isolation from the riff-raff, working from home, dining on Cava from Uber Eats, and resupplied with hand disinfectant and toilet paper by Amazon. They may never return to the polluted, unlivable, expensive, crime-ridden, lousy-school, high tax environs they created. And why should they?  The whiny Millennials have nothing vested in those downtown, hip condos they bought on Reddit.  So they will buy a car on Carvana, place a Bernie sticker on the bumper, rub the sticker to make it look old, and head for greener pastures.  They are choosing to take up new residences and vote for Democrats in places like Georgia, North Carolina, and Texas.  They are compelled by justice and Instagram to turn those places into the places they left. We cannot blame them.

Our new elites spent their infancy (years 1-22) in paper diapers, so they were taught to poop in their pants/nests and then, leave it for others to clean up.  These bankers, lawyers, web millionaire-wanna-be’s, and malleable executives, represent the elitist of “elite privilege,” and elite privilege is better than white privilege or a bottle of P├ętrus with a ‘friend’ who is not my wife at “Daniel” in New York.  After all, elite privilege can buy your child acceptance to the best mediocre state college or a prestigious job with a boutique, investment raider.  So, 2020 was the year for the elites to abandon city life, and adopt new mantras like, “Goodbye Manhattan, I’m off to the shore by way of Staten”, “It is hasta luego to dull San Diego”, and “So long to ‘ol Boston, I landed in Austin.”

Meanwhile, those who work with their hands or in service got $600 to end in 2020. Praise be to the patricians who rule us!  And even better, that pleb political movement led by a barbarian rube was doused in a national ‘selection’ just in the nick of time before the methane in the DC swamp ignited.

So let’s give a loud hosanna for the administrative state! The return of the ruling class to town is being greeted with celebrations and salutations in the diverse media ranks (mostly white males) as our saviors ride into the capital bearing that breezy bag-of-wind vane Joe “IQ” Biden on their backs.

Those of us who are part of the 74 million deniers have much to be thankful for. We, along with the 83 million people both dead and alive who voted for the President-Select, will all soon feel the nation’s woke centurions spread their warmth and love in 2021, and we will feel it good and hard. Thank you 2020.

2020 was also the year the media confirmed why newsprint is so cheap by reporting on everything from the hidden facts behind Russian Collusion, the sinister Russian misinformation campaign about Hunter Biden’s internships, and the kindly efforts of Antifa and BLM to bring about peaceful harmony.

But the media’s main stories were fables.  Using replica truth, CNN, AP, WaPo, NYT, NBC, George and Amal Clooney (from their private plane and modest villa on Lago ‘Cuomo’), and The China People’s Daily, remain dedicated to “making the world a better place” or, at least, in their own images which are really quite beautiful.  They remain steadfast in refuting the lying eyes of the common man and his primitive value system, replacing it with the Code of the Hamptons, the Vineyard Compact, the French Laundry List, and the Rodeo Drive Tablets.  The people must live a modest, green life with crime, bad schools, and thermostats set to 55˚, so our burdened rulers can fly on their private planes to Palm Springs for a round of golf (or off to the French Caribbean For Christmas).

Thus, the mass media is dedicated to this paramount principle: Tell the people what to think and if they disobey, accuse them in scrolling chyrons of being primal, racist, nativist, gender-phobic, racist, anti-science, violent, sexist, racist, right-wing terrorists, dumb, ugly, without fashion sense, left-handed, racist, poor, stupid, allowing-their-Vogue-subscription-to-run-out, racist, uneducated, and unwilling to bow down to doctorates in education from Delaware Tech and Auto Repair School, …, as well as being racist of course.

A new patrician aristocracy made up of the old aristocracy has returned to save us in 2021.  Yummy. They did so well before."

Saturday, July 18, 2020

Karen Demands the Use of Her Name as a Derogatory Meme be Stopped Immediately

A Middle Finger News Op-ed by.......Karen

OK, so I live in lovely Carmel Valley, so what. Maybe you saw Big Little Lies, set in nearby Monterey. Yeah, I have it pretty good. At least, I had it pretty good. Until this damn Karen meme came around.

My name is Karen.  I am not a privileged white female. I’m a self made real estate investor. Well, I did have a small loan of less than a million dollars from my parents to get me started in the business of owning fabulous real estate in and around Carmel Valley. Well, it wasn’t so much a loan as it was a trust fund. But do you have any idea what a pain in the ass these trusts are to deal with? Why couldn’t my parents have just given me the million dollars straight out? I don’t know, something about taxes, I guess.

Anyhow, the point is, I’m embarrassed to be called Karen now.

I mean, what does this meme signify — everything I hate: white supremacy, entitlement, and basic bitchiness. I am not that. I don’t think the white race is superior. Nor do I think I’m entitled to anything — except my name.

What gives these memists the right to appropriate my lovely name? Were real women named Karen consulted in this matter? Did anybody bother to inform us that we might want to file some papers for a name change as the shit is going to come down soon? That would have been nice to know.

Now every time I introduce myself to a client or a colleague, they get a strange look of condescension in their eyes. “Nice to meet you....Karen.” they say, emphasizing the “cunty” part of the word Kuh-aren. I guess that’s what the Karen meme really signifies, isn’t it — cuntiness? I happen to be one of the least cunty people you will ever meet, ladies and gentlemen. I do spiritual work at the yoga center in town. I chant. I went on a retreat once and didn’t speak for five whole days. I drive a Tesla. Alright, yes, it is the expensive one. But I’m doing my part to save the planet.

Why must my name be associated with cuntiness? And how long will this Karen meme last, do you think? I mean, memes don’t last forever. I remember one meme, about a decade ago — the Sad Keanu meme. Who remembers that any more?

I do not have the “can I speak to the manager” haircut.  Any more. I mean, it is uncanny that the predecessor to the Karen meme had a haircut fairly similar to my own: Yeah, it was pretty great, I have to admit. That haircut made me feel powerful.

But in the end, I decided to go for sexy over powerful. This is the haircut I have now:

That’s right, I’m not fucking around any more. Me and a bunch of other Karen’s are pretty pissed and we are going to start breaking things.

Hell yeah, I was around when punk rock was a thing. True, I was listening to disco but I got some Sex Pistol in me, bitches. You really want a few thousand angry Karen’s burning down your local Target?

Didn’t think so.

So how ‘bout you just cut it out with the Karen memes ‘kay? There are plenty of other cunty sounding middle-aged female names you can use. Trudy, for instance. That sounds pretty stuck up and middle-aged.  Or how about Nancy? Or Pam? Why does it have to be Karen? Huh? Alright, that’s it. I’m calling 911.

“Yes, my name is Karen and I’m being attacked by the internet! Can you please make it stop? Thank you!”

Alright, internet, the cops are coming to arrest you because I told them to. And they listen to me. Know why? Cause I am a Karen! That’s right, take back the word! I am a Karen, hell yeah! A Karen named Karen.

You got a problem with that?

Didn’t think so…

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

Thursday, May 7, 2020

The Newest Entry into Our American English Lexicon - Doomer.

Some have yet to hear or are unaware of the newest entry into our American English lexicon - Doomer. It's is a feeble play on the boomer meme, and it’s applied to those people who screech at anyone who wants to go back to work, and anyone who questions the media’s fear mongering when it comes to the Corona Virus. Many are asking how people can be so obsessed with quarantine, and how they can get so psychotic about closing everything down, and there’s a reason why it’s impossible to figure out their rationale.

Your average Doomers aren’t actually tying to “save lives” as they so smugly try to say, they’re addicted to the dopamine hit they get from feeling morally justified.  The  Corona Virus media coverage, and the rationale used to justify lock downs is based entirely on fear and emotion.  Doomers grab hold of this fear and feel like they are being superheroes for calling the cops on business owners, neighbors, and posting shrilling takes on social media about how evil people are for wanting to go back to work.  We indeed should take careful measures to protect the elderly and infirm and those most susceptible, but there is clearly little logic to keeping literally everyone locked down.

The doomers will tell you that you want to kill old people just for money, which literally nobody is saying. Amazingly, these same doomers have nothing to say about Gov. Andrew Cuomo forcing  Corona Virus patients into nursing homes, which invariably killed A LOT of people.  Doomers are obsessed with feeling moral, patting themselves on the back, and ultimately feeling like they are better than you.

A lot of progressive thinking is built off the idea that those who agree are part of some intellectual nobility.  They flaunt their points as if anyone who disagrees doesn’t have the cognitive ability of understanding the “experts” like they do (just check out the tweeter machine) the same “experts” who have been less reliable than a local news station’s weatherman (apologies to any meteorologists out there).

They are addicted to the dopamine rush they get from feeling like they are part of some ultra-intelligent group who gets to preach to the unwashed masses who happen to be composed of their friends, family, and neighbors.

Though this is anecdotal, I will say that I have witnessed a common theme among the doomers that I have spoken with. Every person I have spoken to who is clutching their pearls and shaming anyone who dares think about going back to work or still working, there is a definite evidence that the people who are the most committed to keeping everyone hiding under their beds from  are those who are the least effected.

The reason why you feel like you’re taking crazy pills trying to figure out how these people are so committed to this idiocy is because they aren’t, it is all about them feeling superior, and part of the intellectual nobility, it isn’t actually about the Corona Virus.

~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport &
 Larwyn's Linx@ Doug Ross Journal for the Linkage! ~