We'll Tuck This Away for 2016

via Earl of Taint

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Time Magazine's Other Issue

"Five years running!" - Joe Biden

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Joe Biden's New Mission Should Keep Him Busy for Awhile

What better person could Obama choose to chair a commission to look into Gun Violence, Mental Illness and American Culture then America's favorite goof-ball, Joe Biden.....

from Bethany Mandel: 

The president is well-known for asking groups of people to gather to discuss problems of national importance, including task forces on: working families, the middle class; Guantanamo Bay, commercial advocacy, Hurricane Sandy rebuilding, interagency ocean policy, childhood obesity, Puerto Rico’s status, federal contracting opportunities for small businesses, climate change adaption, financial fraud enforcement, and many, many others. A search on the White House website for the words “task force” yields 86,000 results.

What exactly have these task forces accomplished? What legislation has been put forth? What executive orders have been put into effect? What do they do besides issue reports?

Two of the most famous initiatives the White House has began, the Middle Class Task Force and the Jobs Council, can give you some idea.  

Read More 

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Kinder Gentler Assault Weapons

The Pentagon Averages 665 Rolls of Toilet Paper a Day

....Weapons Research

h/t Trog

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Mayans 'Full of Shit' say Experts from within Lead-lined Bunker

Daily Mash

Scientist have laughed in the face of the apocalypse from their nuclear bunker beneath a mountain. Speaking from one and a half miles beneath the Sierra Nevada mountain range, experts from the Institute for Doom Studies dismissed 12/21/12 apocalypse predictions as hokum. 

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Such is our indifference to the 13th b’ak’tun and the rogue planet Nibiru that we’re hosting a invitation only big ass ‘un-Apocalypse’ party for the scientific community, world leaders and genetically superior individuals.  

“In a bunker. Because bunkers are fun places.”

Surrounded by thousands of boxes of crisps, test-tubes full of urine and bottles of Orangina, Professor Brubaker said: “What did the Mayans know anyway? Apart from that Magnum ice cream and the film Apocalypto, all they’ve given us is a remarkably prescient understanding of the universe that appears to have been developed in conjunction with extraterrestrial intelligence.”

Elsewhere in the underground complex, radiologist and father of two, Julian Cook was busy writing ironic farewell letters to his wife and children. “It’s totally an ironic thing. If and when Susan opens it on the 22nd December, she’ll be like “That is so Julian.” He then added that the letter wasn’t actually ironic, that he was terrified and if you type 21/12/2012 in Wingdings on Microsoft Word it comes out as a picture of a giant lizard with the face of a dog.

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Meet your next Secretary of State

via Talk Straight

“He’s old. He’s white. He’s clearly a member of the ‘evil 1%’. He doesn’t pay his taxes. He admits to taking part in war atrocities. He committed treasonous acts and also admits breaking the law by meeting with Viet Cong leaders. His ‘Vietnam Veterans Winter Soldier Investigation’ was later exposed as a total fraud.

“He wore fake medals while testifying before Congress. And, based on this photo, he’s clearly a ‘gun nut’. But he’s a liberal…so there’s nothing to see here. Meet your next Secretary of State, John Kerry.”

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Attorney General Secretly Granted Gov. Ability to Develop and Store Dossiers on Innocent Americans

"In a secret government agreement granted without approval or debate from lawmakers, the U.S. attorney general recently gave the National Counterterrorism Center sweeping new powers to store dossiers on U.S. citizens, even if they are not suspected of a crime, according to a news report.

Earlier this year, Attorney General Eric Holder granted the center the ability to copy entire government databases holding information on flight records, casino-employee lists, the names of Americans hosting foreign-exchange students and other data, and to store it for up to five years, even without suspicion that someone in the database has committed a crime, according to the Wall Street Journal, which broke the story.

Whereas previously the law prohibited the center from storing data compilations on U.S. citizens unless they were suspected of terrorist activity or were relevant to an ongoing terrorism investigation, the new powers give the center the ability to not only collect and store vast databases of information but also to trawl through and analyze it for suspicious patterns of behavior in order to uncover activity that could launch an investigation....."

Read More.....

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