Tuesday, June 16, 2020

Dear Professor - Field Report From CHAZ

Unrolled Tweeter Thread from @MattsIdeaShop:

Autonomous Zone Day 1
Dear Professor Whoake, Well, we did it. I can’t believe we are actually dismantling the system! We got the cops out and set up a few co-ops food stands like you suggested. People are very happy. Everyone has really positive status updates. Talk soon.

A.Z. Day 2
Hey Professor Whoake,  So minor set back. A roaming band of homeless steampunks stole the co-ops supplies. We have a few sketchy pieces of fruit and enough water to last until tomorrow when we can resupply. The stores closed tho so I’m not sure where to go? Ttyl

A.Z. Day 2 [dusk]
they took the fruit and water. I don’t understand the steampunk genre. There’s rumors of a rapper warlord wandering around with an ak47. Your classes never taught us how to deal with that. Starting to think need a group of people to enforce our laws...

Day 3
U know what? F*** you “Professor” Yeah. I slept in a hut made from a torn down street sign & a CVS shopping cart. Pretty sure someone used me as a toilet. I have to pay armed guys to charge my device now. paid $13 just to be sure I could text u this ๐Ÿ–•๐Ÿผ I’m changing majors.

Day 4 
no escape. a gypsy bartered me to the s/e sector warlord in exchange for the bagel store's wifi password. my warlord's name is Indigo Peaceblade. I recognize him from the Starbucks on Clark Ave. i think his real name is bryce. my job's to collect feces for farm soil.

day 5
the farm has been lost. A meth head took it over and challenged everyone to mortal combat for the farm. Yes, it’s basically just a small pile of soil on top of some cardboard but it’s our small pile of soil on top of cardboard. At least it was. He had two bamboo spears.

day 6
camp was raided by a quartet of unicyclers. i fled during the fracas. While roaming a neutral zone i was confronted by a man known as Big Juice. He controls a very large supply of batteries. He has deals with many warlords. No one touches Big Juice. i'm under his wing.


~ Thank You MJA@IOTWReport for the Linkage! ~

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