If Todays Media had Been There.......

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Biden Leads Vacation Intervention Group

Pleads with President Obama not to Leave
Him in Charge of Washington

The aftermath of Biden's tenure last year  
as Overseer of the Nation's Seat of power....

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Holiday music from Hell: Billy Idol sings ‘White Christmas’

Doc Marten meets Dean Martin in Billy Idol’s plodding version of ‘White Christmas,” which has all the appeal of a Christmas stocking full of steaming reindeer crap. The musicians backing him sound like a German wedding band after an afternoon of knocking back steins of Hefeweizen at the local beer garden. It don’t mean a thing if ain't got that swing and these cats couldn't swing if they were hanging from a lamp post in a hurricane.

Test Raise e-reader Health Concerns

Middle Finger New Service - The battle for consumers of the popular 7 inch e-reader/tablet market heated up again today when book giant Barnes and Noble announced  the results of independent bench tests of their major competitor, the Amazon 'Kindle Fire'. A spokesperson for B&N told us the Kindle fire, a poorly designed knock-off of their own e-reader the 'Nook', has not only been panned by the tech media as being slow and buggy, but their own extensive user test results show the Kindle Fire also causes Butt Cancer.

Amazon, who introduced the Kindle Fire earlier the month called the rumor poppycock, but said they too had been conducting test on B&N's top of the line 'Nook' and were to announce tomorrow  they found with continuing use, the Nook indeed caused "impotence in men" and "mutations in children". A B&N spokesperson said "Bullshit!"

This follows stories in tech circles of late about many complaints by Apple iPad users of incidences of falling arches, incontinence and bad breath.

Professor of English Literature, Emo T. Rinker PHD of Dalesdale University told Middle Finger News "this whole electronic book trend is disturbing and the work of the devil's own hand. The worst that could happen with a traditional printed book is a paper cut or a flat ass from sitting to long."

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Congress Overturns Incandescent Light Bulb Ban

Congressional negotiators struck a deal Thursday that overturns the new rules that were to have banned sales of traditional incandescent light bulbs beginning next year.

That agreement is tucked inside the massive 1,200-page spending bill that funds the government through the rest of this fiscal year, and which both houses of Congress will vote on Friday. Mr. Obama is expected to sign the bill, which heads off a looming government shutdown.

Congressional Republicans dropped almost all of the policy restrictions they tried to attach to the bill, but won inclusion of the light bulb provision, which prevents the Obama administration from carrying through a 2007 law that would have set energy efficiency standards that effectively made the traditional light bulb obsolete. Read More

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Christopher Hitchens, 1949–2011

While many of our political stripe disagreed with him, he did make us think. May the God he did not believe in have mercy on his soul. 

In Memoriam

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Looks Like Mitt Romney has No Freinds at Fox News!

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