Matthew N.
Matthew's Weekend Commentary
I have a few things to say about the Olympics, particularly as they relate to the “modern” games. As for last night’s Opening Ceremonies, let’s just list the issues:
1. If the idea behind last night’s three-hour, tour-de-force of complete crap was to out-spectacle Beijing, then sorry, Britain, you’ve failed. The entire thing, which supposedly was all about the history of English Civilization, was short on history and chock-full of Stagecraft 101 chintz, to my mind. I mean, really? Fifteen minutes devoted to the nightmares of children in hospitals and Mary Poppins? The Industrial Revolution as an extended dance routine? Granted, it’s difficult to pick out individual highlights of the whole of English History to highlight, but the ones chosen left much to be desired, and were not, truth to tell, very inspiring.
The nation which gave the world Elizabeth Tudor, Victoria, Alfred Lord Tennyson, Shakespeare and Churchill (who both got but cursory nods), Magna Carta, the Empire which gave birth to some 50 democracies, the English voyages of Discovery of Darwin and Cook, the nation that stood stalwart in the defense of Freedom against Napoleon, the Hohenzollern's, the Nazis and Communism, was barely introduced to the world, but for a minutes' silence to honor the war dead of Flanders.
This is what happens when a Great Nation becomes infected by Political Correctness to such an extent that it feels as if it must pick-and-choose which aspects of it’s history to celebrate on the world stage; whichever milquetoast, untalented hack gets to make the choice, usually chooses the wrong crap for the wrong reasons. In this case, I would suspect that no one who had say in this debacle wanted to play up these English achievements for fear of “giving offense”.
2. Arctic Monkeys. Great cover of “Come Together”. I may have a new fave band.
3.. Paul McCartney looks about ready to have that fatal stroke. The voice is gone, and “Hey Jude” was hardly an appropriate selection for such a venue. Yes, we know you were Beatle, but you’d think that someone who is supposed to be one of the greatest songwriters/composers of the 20th Century, might have spent a little time arranging an original composition for the event. You know Elton John would have.
4. I must admit to having had no idea that there were 204 countries sending athletes to the Olympics, and had nary a clue that there were 204 countries on Planet Earth. However, it would seem that the majority of them consist of what I think Lawrence of Arabia once referred to as “Tribes With Flags” (don’t quote me on that), and that Parade of Nations just convinced me, more than ever, that the United Nations is a waste of time, effort and money. There is just no way in hell that anyone, or any deliberative body, could forge a consensus on anything from that stinking pile of humanity…excuse me…Mass of Diversity.
5. The only things missing from the initial pastoral stage were J.R.R. Tolkien's hobbits, because the “Forging of the Olympic Rings By the British Factory Proletariat” thing reminded me of the opening minutes of The Lord of the Rings.
6. Rowan Atkinson ceased being funny the second he stopped being “Blackadder”. What’s the matter? The Monty Python guys were too busy ripping themselves off with cheap stage reproductions of their masterworks to come to the ceremony?
Now, onto the entire concept of the Olympics, themselves........