Retail Artificial Intelligence and Your Future Robot Overlords

Before Uber Billionaires like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and the Google Dudes board SpaceX and fly away to the safety of their futuristic mansions on Mars and leave us in the charge of our Artificial Intelligence Robot Overlords, some work here is still to be done. Musk is left to convince us life will be wonderful without fossil fuels as we drive our electric cars to the solar energy powered fully automated veterinarian office to have Fluffy nurtured and obedience brain chip installed. And Bezos and his journalist playtoys are not through convincing us Donald Trump is the devil, and Jeffrey hasn't yet cornered the market on retail sales and just about everything you will need to survive in the future.

Amazon didn’t acquire the iconic grocery retail brand Whole Foods just for the quinoa: Whole Foods operates hundreds of retail data mines, and Amazon just married a world-class artificial intelligence team with one of the best sources of consumer shopping data in the U.S. There are lots of reasons why Amazon would want to spend $13.7 billion on Whole Foods, and with one big check, it will now control more than 400 sources of prime data on consumer behavior.

Artificial Intelligence models will dictate how and where products are sold in the next decade, and there are only a few companies with the expertise and data sets necessary to build those models at scale. Years down the road, if you frequent an established but aging grocery brand, say Safeway or Kroger, you’ll either watch Amazon eat their lunch with improved efficiency and incredible reach, or you’ll become an Amazon Web Customer because you’ll need their retail products to survive.

Amazon 1998 - Hello. We sell books, but Online. 
Amazon 2028 - Please return to your Primehouse for your nightly Primemeal, valued Primecitizen.

In the meantime, the Google Dudes recently went on an A.I. spending spree and purchased the Super Artificial Intelligence Company "Deepmind" in order to develop what they called a "Cybernetic Friend". The company’s purchase of "Boston Dynamics" sparked concern about why a search engine tech company needs a robotics maker. (that's a comforting thought, no?)

And Elon Musk launched his successful private cost-efficient rocket program, away from the wasteful gov jobs program called NASA, in hopes to eventually inhabit the Red Planet. "One reason we needed to colonize Mars—so that we’ll have a bolt-hole if A.I. goes rogue and turns on humanity." He has suggested implantable chips to treat brain disorders and one day, perhaps help protect the rest of us left behind from Evil Robot Overlords.

So the day may come Primecitizen, when your A.I. Robot Overlords deliver your predetermined A.I. approved evening meal by drone drop on your front porch as you drive home pass the abandon neighborhood grocery or brick and mortar retail outlet that now shelters illegal immigrants fleeing non-existent global warming catastrophes. 

...and don't forget to test your brain chip regularly and keep your Amazon Prime Tattooed Member Number on your hand clean and visible.

H/T Crazy Cousin Olivia for the Research

An Outsider's View of the American Media Circus

What my friend living in Japan says what she hears when she tunes in 

to the American News Media.....

Even Stevie Wonder Can See 'Black Lives Matter' is a Crock

Downtrend - With words they definitely didn’t want to hear, the music legend scolded blacks for killing each other while pretending that they actually care about black lives. Making these words even more shocking, Wonder was speaking about the Hispanic police officer who was acquitted on manslaughter charges in the shooting death of armed black man Philando Castile. At the “Conference on Peace” in Minneapolis Fox 9 reports Wonder laid into black people for killing each other.

“It is in your hands to stop all the killing and all the shooting wherever it might be. Because you cannot say Black Lives Matter and then kill yourselves. Because you know, we’ve mattered long before it was said."  

The news reports that this speech took place at the New Salem Missionary Baptist Church and that there were over 100 people in attendance. When Wonder finished those words, there was a smattering of applause at best. I can only imagine that black people don’t like to be told they are responsible for their own actions or much of the misery in the black community. 

 The lack of a roaring response was probably due to the fact that what Wonder said was what people on the conservative side of things have observed about Black Lives Matter from day one: it’s hard to buy into the BLM message when around 10,000 black people are murdered each year by other black people. For some reason saying “Black Lives Matter” when they don’t even appear to matter to other blacks seems a little insincere. That this message goes out in response to police officers doing their job makes it come across as an even bigger pile of bullshit. 

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The 2017 Paul Revere Award

We at Diogenes Middle Finger are proud to announce we have been chosen as a recipient of the the Fifth Annual Paul Revere Award. It is a Privilege and the Highest of Honors to be recognized by your fellow bloggers and readers for the time spent and the work you present.  

From the Award Presenter's Website, Political Clown Parade:

"In 2013 I decided to honor bloggers whose work was filled “with the breathings of their heart.”  I refer to the bloggers whose sites are small in comparison to the “corporate” blogs that have an army of writers, resources and capital.  These are the good people who feed our soul—who make us laugh about ourselves or life—and restore our buoyancy in a troubled world.  They champion freedom of expression. The brave and resolute men and women behind those blogs hold down jobs and raise their families or selflessly provide care for loved ones. They possess an unwavering dedication to inform and warn their readers." 

I thank all who voted and I congratulate all the recipients of this years Award. The entire list of Honored Bloggers can be seen HERE.

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Mitch "The Statue Slayer" Being Eyed As Possible 2020 Dem Candidate

New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu, Son of Moon - Brother of Mary, made a national production out of tearing down several historic monuments, including Andrew Jackson, the 7th President of the U.S. and hero of the The Battle of New Orleans in the War of 1812. The removal of other 100 year old historic statues, Robert E. Lee, Jefferson Davis and P.G.T. Beauregard, made Landrieu into a hero of the "Ignorance is Strength" American Taliban who seek to erase the history that isn’t compatible with their radical sensitivities. 

But to those with finely-tuned political antennae and top shelf bullshit detectors it was clear that Landrieu’s pandering and demagoguery had less to do with any sincere conviction and everything to do with getting noticed, (Mitch even got himself a Black Mistress) and launching a career in Democratic party politics on the national level. That is exactly what is happening. 

"Democrats looking for new blood to revitalize their party are taking a close look at New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu, who is suddenly being discussed as a dark-horse presidential nominee. That Landrieu is a new face from outside Washington makes him even more intriguing to hard-nosed Democratic strategists. "I find him to be an incredibly fascinating political figure,” said Jamal Simmons, one of the Washington Democrats turning an eye toward Landrieu. When you think who are the non-Washington figures in the left that ought to have a say in where we go, I think a lot of people would point to him. Now, as the party looks to rebuild, Democrats say Landrieu and other non-establishment politicians like him could be the future of the party." - The Hill 

But Mayor Mitch has several hurdles to overcome, not the least of which is being a white male in a party that has embraced identity politics as religious dogma. The only white male who has a chance would be Uncle Joe Biden who has coyly hinted at a desire to run. That however would put him at odds with those on the far left who will settle for nothing less than a woman – or a minority – as a candidate (unless it’s Hillary) in 2020.

The early handicapping favors freshman California Senator Kamala "I Slept My Way to the Top" Harris who has both the right pigmentation and a vajayjay, although she would have to tone down her bitch on wheels angry black woman act to appeal to more than the party base.

So Stay Tuned. As everyone should know by now, Louisiana is notorious for its long line of flamboyantly slimy politicians. Mitch is just our latest edition.