Middle Finger Symphony Theater

~ No Tuxedos Required ~ 

You Know You Suck When You're Less Popular Than the Government.

I think a even crooked Used Car Salesman could probably score in the high teens.

Dear Diogenes...

Occasionally, your Blog Editrix, who you know Loves Each and Every One of You, gets email asking general questions and mainly chit-chat and the occasional marriage proposal. Some correspondence are interesting *cough* and some really made me laugh. Some surely written before their daily medication took affect, and some I thought should be answered publicly in the name an informed citizenry.

That said, you guys can stop requesting I send pictures of my breasticials, as the sheer vision of their magnificence could possibly trigger a cardiac episode in some valued readers, and I would feel responsible. So I find that a bad idea. So Stop. Ain't gonna happen.

 

 Here's a sample of recent mail before I hit the delete button. 

Jack of all Tirades@                     

Dear Ms. Jan,

Have you met a man and it's so obvious that no one in his life has ever told him to shut the fuck up?

Dear Jack,

No, I have never met Keith Olbermann. 

BoBo Wilson@...................................

Mrs. Sarcastica,

I remember you have mention your pets, in particular a dog and house cat Courtney I believe. My baby girl really wants a kitten and I'm trying to justify the trouble and expense. I'd appreciate any advice about being a cat owner.

My Dear BoBo,

Having a Cat teaches children valuable lessons about how likeable an attractive sociopath can be.

Laura Pickner@..................

Dear Jan,

I know you're a business owner and boss, so I thought I'd ask your advice if you don't mind. I have a boss that is constantly saying me and my team are "like family" and is really starting to creep us all out. Any suggestion as to how to handle this?

Dear Laura;

If your boss continues, if it were me, I would start yelling"Your Not My Real Mom"and storm out everytime they ask you to do something. 

Professor Doug E.@....................... 

Ms. Jan,

I'm aware of the fact you were schooled in Europe and possess above average knowledge on the continent history. So I wondered your opinion; do you believe the fall of Rome comparable to the current situation in United States?

Dear Professor,

No I don't. Rome had good roads.

Whizzer43@..............................................................................

Yo Pretty Lady,

I'm just curious. What's the craziest idea you have that you nevertheless believe will, if implemented, make the world a better place for us all???

Dear Whizzer43,

Make cars that won't turn unless you use the turn signal.

Greg Young@...........................

Dear Ms. Sarcastica,

You seemed to be a happy lady and I'd like ask something of you. I'm married to a woman who is always angry at me for something or other and I'd like to ask what makes u happy and what I could do to humor her. 

Thank you.

Greg.

Dear Greg, 

Not many people ask me for relationship advice so I'm going to assume you've exhausted all other possibilities.  May I suggest next time she goes off on you and gets angry,  drape a towel over her shoulders (like a cape) and say"now you're SUPER ANGRY!"

Maybe she'll laugh.

Maybe you'll meet Jesus. 

* Just a note: we have not seen any comments or heard from Greg. 

What We've Learned From the Media

Now that Trump 2.0 is at full acceleration and dominating the news cycle every day, I have been reflecting on the recent years full of nonsense, lies and misdirection the media has foisted on America. All the while claiming to be the champion and last line of the defense of Democracy.

You know the ones; Cable and Network news host that probably couldn't pass a standard 9th grade civics test babble on about 2.0 and his nazi sidekick with their guest, the former this or former that, or a twenty something reporter/network legal analysts who's daddy is probably an attorney, spout mumbo jumbo jargon they probably picked up from reading John Grisham novels and spoon feed the public turd soup. So what have we learned from these people, the self appointed fourth branch of government. The saviors of democracy. The Media.

We've learned from the media top bureaucrats who supposedly serve at the pleasure of the President are actually entitled to their jobs and firing them is some kind of crime against an unstated law, with the president presumed guilty unless he can prove he had an acceptable reason for terminating or reassigning them.  We've learned that 'Made Men' of the bureaucratic empire and its political wing, the Democrat Party, cannot be investigated for corruption unless the most exquisite preliminary rituals are followed and the investigators can demonstrate the absolute purity of their intentions.

We've learned it's heroic for the bureaucracy to organize "resistance" against the elected president and congressional representatives, if the Washington empire disapproves of the voters' choices. We've learned a President the imperial bureaucracy likes can issue executive orders that cannot be reversed by presidents it disapproves of. The people are belatedly informed that some matters are settled forever on the "one man, one vote, one time" principle. The essence of self-government, the true right that matters above all others, is the right to say "no." We've learned over the past three years that the American people no longer have that right in most cases, but their nominal employees in the federal government do.

We learned from the media that obscure lower-court judges can hijack entire segments of national policy on a whim. Some of these imperial proclamations have been expressly premised on the notion that American citizens have less to say about their own government than foreign nationals do. If the imperial bureaucracy makes a demand of you, good luck with trying to work up a "resistance" movement. Good luck getting any favorable attention from the media that has fused with that bureaucracy and enjoys a revolving door of employment with it.

The media made gleefully clear if you, the Little People, cast votes the imperial bureaucracy doesn't like... well. They'll fight you every step of the way and spend untold millions of YOUR dollars against you. Then they'll get in front of cameras and expect you to applaud them as heroes. It was always a swindle to convince the American people that one group and one group only serves as a failsafe check against authoritarian power as they themselves conspire with those that are exercising it.  

We were lulled into thinking our government could never become dictatorial, no matter how much power it claims, because we can always vote the bums out. Guess what, kids? As we've seen since 2017, most of the power and money is controlled by people you never get to vote against. And we learned that the people you don't vote for have been very capable of defending their privileges against the people who DO.

And now, with 2.0, we are learning that far more issues than we ever suspected were in the eyes of the imperial bureaucracy, considered "settled."

MSNBC Determined to Remain a Clown Show

MSNBC's Newest Anchor Eugene Daniels

It is also the President of the White House Correspondents' Association.

It has no more need to pretend to be a journalist at MSNBC

JHK: No Way Out

"CBS’s 60-Minutes show was at it again Sunday night in the most prime primetime weekend news slot on the old broadcast spectrum — Sunday at 7:00, the power-hour of national mind-fuckery — with blob PR-agent Scott Pelley singing the blues over the systematic disassembly of the rogue bureaucracy. 

Trouble is, fewer and fewer minds are susceptible to the argument that the blob exists to “save our democracy.” You’re supposed to go boo-hoo because the Department of Justice is under new management. Now get this: since 2015 the Department of Justice and its step-child, the FBI, have devoted their vast and savage powers to manifold acts of sedition, treason, malicious political prosecution, obstruction of justice, suborning perjuries, and countless other abuses of law in an ever-widening gyre of ass-covering operations as year-by-year their crimes multiplied. 

RussiaGate was initially a cover-up op for the Clintons’ many acts of mischief and moneygrubbing when Hillary ran for President, just as the Mueller Special Counsel Investigation was a cover-up for the crimes committed by the DOJ and FBI after Hillary lost to Mr. Trump, just as Impeachment #1 was a cover-up for the Ukraine money laundry and its role in RussiaGate, and Impeachment #2 was a coverup for the 2020 election ballot hijinks that got rid of Mr. Trump, and just as the Mar-a-Lago raid was a cover-up to retrieve evidence of all-the-above that Mr. Trump had archived, and just as the flurry of Trump prosecutions in 2024 was the final (and amazingly inept) effort to put the Golden Golem of Greatness out-of-business forever. 

But somehow, perhaps an act of Providence, he prevailed over all that adversity, like some paladin out of the ancient myths, and is suddenly back in charge — to the abject horror of all those lawyers and spooks behind the aforesaid ops, now nervously awaiting subpoenas in their Beltway McMansions. You will learn shortly that there is a difference between “justice” based on fraud and fakery and justice served by way of fact-patterns and evidence." - J.H.Kunstler

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A Good Monday Morning