Tuesday, June 6, 2017

No, Ricky Was Not Poisoned By Trump and the Russians

We were not actually worried that Ricky Maddow might had been poisoned by the Russians in retaliation for her constant, night-after-night, backbreaking work of reporting on the very weird and byzantine story of Russia’s hacking of the 2016 election and Team Trump’s possible collusion, being as far up the ass of the Russia story as she is.  But the lefty hate spewing forums were ablaze all weekend as to what had happened Ricky last week.  From a really bad pneumonia flu sniffle, possibly made worse by exhaustion, to being kidnapped or poisoned by the Russians. 

But when Ricky STILL wasn’t back last night (Monday), we were a li’l bit concerned! The fleeting thought entered our brain that we sure hope Trump’s Russian pals didn’t try any funny business on her. But then we said to ourselves, “pffffft, that is crazy.” But then we got on FaceSpace and the Tweeter and it turned out a lot of other people were like, WHERE IS SHE? WE ARE WORRIED.” 

Of course, she's probably out doing investigatin' on ALL THE OTHER SHIT Trump does, while making sure to she can start every show with a 74-minute lecture on something we didn’t know about before, like the history of Raven-Symoné fans in China, and how that connects to one time Trump toady, Paul Manafort,  who allegedly washed his grundle on a Tuesday, which connects to how this one Russian oligarch’s last name LITERALLY TRANSLATES to “Paul’s Grundle Washer”. 

But word is she'll be back, hopped up on drugs, so she can continue to report on Jared Kushner begging Russia for a secret Russian spy phone, so he could tell Russian spies his secrets. And she'll be back to tell everyone about how that brave girl gave up some secret info to the Intercept and proved Trump and the Rooskies are in cahoots

At least now NBC News president Andy Lack can stop having nightmares of replacing all the night-time liberal content with three straight hours of Greta Van Susteren incessantly asking “Hey know what I think?  

Thank You MJA for the Linkage!