|Nuttier Than Your Average Squirrel Turd - MSNBC Loonie Central's Joy Reid|
by Clint Fargeau
A philosopher once observed: “If someone falsely accuses you of doing something, it’s a good bet they are doing it themselves.” Those who have the misfortune to peruse the organs of Leftist opinion will find no shortage of op-eds descrying the crazy conspiracy theories of conservatives. Silly conservatives. Bunch of paranoid loons they are.
The barrage of leftist gaslighting over the last three years supports the philosopher's more intellectual formulation of “He that smelt it dealt it.” Most of us are painfully familiar with the more infamous examples of conspiracy theorizing on the Left. To wit:
Donald Trump is a closet white supremacist in league with neo-nazis–like Ben Carson, a black man, and Stephen Miller, who is Jewish–to make America white again.And on the really fruity end of the spectrum:
Jews control the weather; their nation state secretly plans to exterminate Arabs; and the whole lot of them have hypnotized the world with Hebrew mind control.These conspiracy … “theories”, or more like “fever dreams” … spill forth not from basement bloggers in tinfoil hats but from supposedly nailed-down folk. Politicians, mainstream journalists, and (formerly) respectable intellectuals juice these lemons day after day, in defiance of common sense, hard evidence, or even a compelling pattern. Their constituents drink this sour mixture, proclaim it ambrosia, and cry for more.
The opinion leaders on the Left rail incessantly against “The Rich.” But when they say “The Rich,” they don’t mean the population with assets in excess of X million dollars. Those would just be people who happened to be rich. They mean “THE CONSPIRACY OF The Rich”–bastards who connive to suck up all the goodies. Collusion is how they got rich, not a combination of luck, intelligence, and hard work.
“Eat The Rich” cheerleaders like Robert Reich, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, and Elizabeth Warren talk like “The Rich” share a party line–complete with gold-plated Bat-phones–earnestly discussing as a group: “How can we keep the little guy down and murder the climate at the same time?”
Another long-running “conspiracy of” category is “White People.” Activists, politicians, and opinionators reference “(the conspiracy of) White People” on topics ranging from police shootings to NFL owners who manifestly plotted to exclude Colin Kaepernick from his rightful place chucking a ball on the TV. NFL owners can’t possibly have thought separately and individually that hiring Kaepernick–who damaged the entire league and who spouts Marxist, anti-white, anti-police garbage at every opportunity–might turn out to be a poor choice, leading to perennial headaches for any team stupid enough to toss him a jersey.
Leftist conspiracy mongers credit conservatives and Republicans with borderline-magical abilities to leverage powerful forces for sinister plots and schemes. In so doing, they have turned their constituency into a hysteria feedback movement. Their sole source of energy now appears to be: “Nazis and robber barons in the bushes! Treasons and plots! Grab your Reynolds Wrap and prepare for resistance!”
Perhaps most odd from a conservative viewpoint is that many of the “conspiracies” Leftist opinion makers “uncover” are open, commonly held beliefs on the Right. Opinion makers on the Left don’t listen to conservatives. Then, stumbling upon conservatives’ openly expressed views, they mischaracterize those beliefs as hidden and secret motives. The devious plotter living in every conservative means that nothing they say may be accepted at face value. The devious plotter living in every conservative means that nothing they say may be accepted at face value.
Francis Wilkinson’s hilariously ignorant opinion piece in Bloomberg exemplifies the left's paranoia at work. Wilkinson’s title– "The True Aim of the Gun Sanctuary Movement", Wilkinson theorizes that Second Amendment advocates (or as he calls them the “guns-everywhere-for anybody movement”) don’t *really* believe in the Constitution; they just want to subvert the American majority.
*Sigh*. Okay Francis, you got us. Conservatives really don’t believe in the wisdom of the Constitution, that bit of “legal finery.” We are conspiring in secret to give every felon, child, and psychiatric inmate an AR-15 and turn cities into dystopian slaughterhouses. Darn it. We almost snuck that one by, but Wilkinson was too smart for us.
A note to the Guns-Everywhere-for-Everybody Cabal: we will not meet this Friday, because Wilkinson’s column has made us sad and angry. But next Friday, come with your best ideas to trick the Left into believing we support the constitutional right to self-, home, and community defense on its merits. We will meet in room 302, right next to the Evil Jewish Bankers Who Control Everything Society.