Educational Crash Course #35

Another Installment of Diogenes'

Public Service Educational Series: 

History of the World: Slightly Abridged

Next in Series: Career Advancement
with Keith Olbermann


CLASS DISMISSED!

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Obama Says He'll Work on that Job Plan Thing When He Gets Back From Vacation…

"On his 938th day in office President Obama also said he would soon have a completed jobs plan. Maybe early fall, something like that. And he complained, "We could do even more if Congress is willing to get in the game."

L.A.Times

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The Smithsonian Inaugurates New WTF Wing

 The New

'OMGWTF Were We Thinking' 
Wing of the Smithsonian Museum

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If Democrats Really Told the Truth.......

  
Just admit it, that's all I ask. Admit your ballot was cast for Barack Obama on November 4, 2008 so you could turn off your brain come January 20, 2009. You voted for him so future visits to the doctor wouldn't include the removing of your insurance card, driver's license and co-pay from your wallet and then presenting these items to the nurse/receptionist. You voted for Mr. Obama so you could walk into the office of any doctor and say, "ObamaCare".

Admit you attempt to shame people into believing this big bad world is too complex for conservatism. "Championing freedom and limited government isn't sufficient; we need complex solutions to complex problems," you say, hoping to force individuals to cheerfully give up their freedom for fear they'll otherwise be labeled stupid.  Admit you're so ignorant regarding money matters that you deem anyone suggesting you personally handle the investing of your salary "evil".
 
The Democrat Party is full of whiners who cry out, "Pass legislation that allows me to scratch health care from my list of complicated issues with which I must concern myself. Though I am able bodied, please make it possible for me live the life of a helpless invalid. Seriously, how about a bill that mandates the mailman actually place Netflix rental's in my DVD player."

Why can't liberals admit you just want to be average in every way? You want to spend a maximum of eight hours per weekday at work, then go home and watch mindless television until it's beddy-bye time. This is all you want out of life and freedom makes it impossible for you to proceed through such a vapid existence without worry. "Take away everyone's freedom to prosper so I have comfort in knowing my laziness will never land me in the poor house." 
 
You probably believe your big government solutions  to helping the masses are heroic, but how often do Herculean motion picture protagonists shout, "I will put down my weapons and wait for an elected official to get me out of this seemingly unsolvable circumstance!" 
 
Conservatives understand there will be differences of opinion, but we strenuously object to liberals fibbing for the express purpose of convincing the ignorant masses that they're not trying to control the entire population. You often hear President Obama and Vice President Biden claim to be proponents of freedom, yet, for the first time in her history, citizens of the United States will soon be forced to purchase a product.

They can't have it both ways.

Is anybody better off than they were two years ago? Can anybody imagine how bad things will be after two additional years with Obama at the reigns? He threw billions of dollars at a problem with a private sector solutions, on the verge of a debt fiasco. Instead of leading, he played golf and left the important decisions up to other people.  He is now in his 3rd year of office, and the W. excuse is running real thin. Now he is shifting the blame on the Tea Party, a group whose only sin is organizing, demonstrating, and demanding that the government stop running a deficit. To use a football analogy, Obama took a 6-10 Bush economy and turned it into a 2-14 team.
 
As President, Obama is about as popular as a Cowshit sandwich, and shows all the political skill of a deaf and blind amputee gearing up to play a piano concerto. He will need that same misinformed masses that came out for him 3 years ago to come out again, if he wants to keep his job.

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British expected to take Gold, and Silver and..

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Let's Make it Amicable.

SEPARATION AGREEMENT

 Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists, Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950′s for the sake of the kids, but the whole of this latest election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but sadly, this relationship has clearly run its course.

Our two ideological sides of America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right for us all, so let’s just end it on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable differences and go our own way.

Here is a model separation agreement:
–Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each taking a similar portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes.

–We don’t like redistributive taxes so you can keep them.
–You are welcome to the liberal judges and the ACLU.
–Since you hate guns and war, we’ll take our firearms, the cops, the NRA and the military.
–We’ll take the nasty, smelly oil industry and you can go with wind, solar and bio diesel.
–You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O’Donnell. You are, however, responsible for finding a bio diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of them.

–We’ll keep capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street.
–You can have your beloved lifelong welfare dwellers, food stamps, homeless, home boys, hippies, druggies and illegal aliens.
–We’ll keep the hot Alaskan hockey moms, greedy CEO’s and rednecks.
–We’ll keep the Bibles and give you NBC and Hollywood .

–You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we’ll retain the right to invade and hammer places that threaten us.
–You can have the peaceniks and war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we’ll help provide them security. (NO WE WON’T)

–We’ll keep our Judeo-Christian values.
–You are welcome to Islam, Scientology, Humanism, political correctness and Shirley McLane. You can also have the U.N. but we will no longer be paying the bill.

–We’ll keep the SUV’s, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can take every Volt and Leaf you can find.
–You can give everyone health care if you can find any practicing doctors.
–We’ll continue to believe health care is a luxury and not a right.
–We’ll keep “The Battle Hymn of the Republic” and “The National Anthem.”
–I’m sure you’ll be happy to substitute “Imagine”, “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing”, “Kum Ba Ya” or “We Are the World”.

–We’ll practice trickle down economics and you can continue to give trickle up poverty your best shot.

–Since it often so offends you, we’ll keep our history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like-minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, I’ll bet you answer which one of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Author Unknown 

 
HT/ Nunya - via IOTW 

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Al Sharpton "The Dow is down 630%"

 I hereby nominate our math club president, Al Sharpton for the position of United States Secretary of the Treasury!

From Capitalist Preservation

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