Stop Criticizing His Golf Outings.......He Needs the Practice

John Kerry Has His Fill of Middle Finger News Service

MFNS - Secretary of State John F. Kerry (he fought in Vietnam you know) has called out 'Middle Finger News Service' as a pitiful Unamerican / Uncosmopolitan “satire” outlet and threatened humanitarian annihilation, if we do not shape up.

Below is a transcript of his remarks at the "Societe De Douchebag Internationale" convention yesterday, and I promise you, sh*t  getting real.....

"The illegitimate 'Middle Finger News' editorial regime and its vicious hack collaborators, for too long, have defied the wrath of the International Community.   These despicable hooligans truly are “Sinners in the Hand of an Angry Military-Industrial Complex,” and its about time they started to show accountably for their venomous use of free speech and abuse of the people's Internet. 

Their crimes against breadsticks are simply intolerable. It is over 72 hours since either a news post or even a meager, petty, individual comment on MFNS has mentioned the Olive Garden fiasco. How much longer does Our Common Humanity have to wait?"

Furthermore..... 

"I know not with what weapons President Assad has fought with, because we haven't had a chance to think about this one yet. But what I do know is that our war of eternally compassionate and brutally sympathetic attrition with the bitter, hard-boiled Middle Finger News dogmatists and ideological fanatics will be fought with… um, Syrian cooking pots.”

"You know who said that? Yes, that’s right.

No, not Assad, he’s kind of our second-best frenemy right now. I mean, it's getting to the point where he needs us more than we need him. Unacceptable. But kinda acceptable too.  Or is it?

No, not that Indian guy. No, not Einstein either. Someone a bit closer to home. A great man of peace.  I Thought it was pretty obvious who is the Great Emancipator and Man of Eternal Pacific Justice in our time.

Anyway… I've told you what's what, and who our enemies are for the time being…Until we decide (or at least do not decide) otherwise, in light of the purely value free and objective given constraints and opportunities. 

You know, I really hate these guys. Just ‘cos.  Well, that's enough, right?  Well, maybe.

Still, the other side of this dilemma, which is equally important, and of equal strategic importance to us all, is that Middle Finger News Service is an eternally radiant beacon of Voltairean irony and satire, carrying the eternal flame of Paine and Jefferson across all the boundless, blooming spaces of the information superhighway…...the sole and sufficient hope in which all meager, starved, and sore thirst seekers of satire may put their trust; and ever abide in the tender bowels of humor, the greatest gift among gods and people.

No, shut up!

No, don’t worry, that was technically a malapropism, not a flip-flop as such. Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it.  Nope! Sorry! You're not having that one. No woolly compromises. 

This time. No, no, no! This time, it's gotta be one or the other."

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I was… let’s say, I was in agreement with half of what Kerry said.
Well?  Work it out for yourself

Susan Rice: We Can Prove Bergdahl Swap Was a Success

MFNS - On this weekends Sunday TV political gabfest, Susan Rice will once again take to the airwaves to defend the Obama administrations decision to release the Gitmo 5 and prove the success of the swap of army deserter Bowe Bergdahl for the five terrorist held at Guantanamo Bay.  Fear arose by some that the notorious terrorist would rejoin jihad and continue to make trouble. 

But Rice is set show the 5 men,  with a generous grant from the US State Department (a forerunner of their Jobs For Jihadist program idea) are a shining example of the success of the Obama State Dept and their compassionate  foreign policy toward Muslims.  

Rice says the 5 have given up their jihadists ways and adopted full tilt American style entrepreneur capitalism. 

MFNS has acquired an advance copy of her talking points and a sponsorship graphic taken from one of the Middle East television's most popular shows, 'Late Night with Mahmoud'.  

The White House has express hope the 5 would come one day to this country at conduct seminars on successful entrepreneurship in depressed areas, like Detroit and D.C.

A Totally Nude Fishnet Friday

In Celebration of the Arrival of Spring.......

Cambodian PM Tells First Lady To Put Up or Shut Up

She Stick Big Nose In Little People Business...

UPI-  The first lady's visit to Cambodia was part of the the White House's "Let Girls Learn" initiative but her cause rang hollow to Cambodia's outspoken prime minister.  Michelle Obama's tour of Asia to promote girls' education was marked by blunt criticism from Cambodian Prime Minister Hun Sen, who said the first lady was "playing around" and using hopeful rhetoric about making improvements but not guaranteeing aid.

The Phnom Penh Post reported that Hun Sen told  U.S. embassy personnel Wednesday that Obama's Saturday visit with 10 schoolgirls in the Cambodian city of Siem Reap, part of the White House's "Let Girls Learn" initiative, was good but not enough. He said the U.S. government should promise scholarships – if it sincerely seeks improvements to education reform in Cambodia. 

"Her mission is very good, but I suggest the United States should help completely and not play like this," the Cambodian prime minister said.  Obama's visit has led to a request from his education minister on Tuesday for state university scholarships for the 10 students who met with Obama on Saturday. 

"What if she chose 300 students? It would be death. I don't have that money to give....." 

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MFNS Correspondent Earl of Taint covertly tagged along on the trip and captured these photos of Mooch's exotic Cambodian travels your 2014 tax bill helped to foot......

 Moochelle visits the amazing temple at Angkor Wat. FLOTUS is on the far left. 

Asking directions to rest rooms and snack bar,  monks broke their vow of silence with their screaming.

Serial Prevaricator Susan Rice

A  Retrospective Defense of U.S. Army Deserter Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl

by Robert Janicki

On Wednesday, the United States Army charged Sgt. Bowe Bergdahl with 'desertion of duty and misbehaving before the enemy', while on duty and serving in Afghanistan in 2009.  Most people understand the concept of desertion, which implies voluntarily leaving an assigned military area without permission or privilege.  Since the trade of the five Taliban military commanders in 2014 for Sgt. Bergdahl, a rising chorus has arisen to indicate that Bergdahl voluntarily left his assigned post in Afghanistan because of his disgust and disdain for America, not a charge to be lightly made, which thus characterized Bergdahl as being at the very least a deserter.

Watch the video of Susan Rice as National Security Adviser to President Obama going on the Sunday TV News talk show circuit when the Obama administration traded five Taliban terrorists for the return of Sgt. Bergdahl back in 2014.  Pay special attention to Rice's comments describing Sgt. Bergdahl as having "served with honor and distinction" while in the Afghanistan theater of operations.  At the time this deal was made, there were comments already being made by those who served with Sgt. Bergdahl accusing him of being no less than a deserter and a traitor.

Now flash forward to the Army announcement on Wednesday charging Sgt. Bergdahl with at least two crimes under the Uniform Code of Military Justice.  Watch the video of the Army news release.

It is now becoming obvious that the trade to return Sgt. Bergdahl was principally made on a political basis. It appears to knowledgable observers that President Obama used the trade opportunity to reduce the Guantanamo Detention Center population by five inmates in a continuing move to reduce the population to the point of being able to close Guantanamo Detention Center through shear attrition of inmates.  

Secondly, the Obama administration made the specific decision to use the release of Sgt. Bergdahl as a photo opportunity with Bergdahl's parents in the Rose Garden of the White House.  It would appear that the Obama administration believed that they could get a 'two fer' with this photo op.  The Obama administration wanted to be cast in the role of patriotic savior of Sgt. Bergdahl using the tag line of "no soldier left behind", while being able to point to their political supporters that the administration was working to close the Guantanamo Detention Center, which Obama promised to do in the first month of his administration in 2009.

The Obama administration had to know at the time of the prisoner trade that the circumstances of Sgt. Bergdahl's leaving his post was most probably desertion, since so many soldiers who had served with Sgt. Bergdahl, had already spoken up about the facts of Sgt. Bergdahl leaving his post, which clearly implicated him as a deserter and by extension, a traitor.

What is amazing is the arrogance and hubris of the Obama administration in believing that they could actually get away with using Sgt. Bergdahl as a political pawn and the photo op with Bergdahl's parents as an opportunity to enhance the president's political popularity rating in the polls.

Al Sharpton on Presidential Candidate 'Ted Screwch'

H/T The Lid